February 4, 2004

all the stars in my sky were for you

I have the most horrible case of writer’s block. I honestly have nothing to say, and even the few things I could say… I have no idea how to say them.

I’ve been avoiding OD for a while, and I’m sorry. I doubt anyone even cared very much (because how often do I actually update anyway?), but I fel that an apology is necessary for those who have anxiously awaited my return (yeah right).

Today I have no classes. I didn’t want that type of schedule; unfortunately, the english class that was at 11am Tuesday-Thursday was full when I scheduled. Enter long-ass Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. One class Tuesdays. And free Thursdays.

Quite honestly, I think it’s a bad idea for me to be alone with myself. I get absolutely nothing done, because I will sleep in until 3 just because I can. Because I have nowhere to go, and it doesn’t matter if I shower. And I’m the type of person who likes to leave assignments until the very last minute, so I won’t even think about starting homework until 8pm.

My roommate, Heather, does this all the time. She just skips her classes and sleeps in and hangs out in the apartment. I don’t know how she can stand it. I can’t stand most people, but if I don’t have human contact all day, I go crazy.

On Tuesday, classes were cancelled. There goes Penn State’s only cancellation for 2004. It was nice, even though I only missed my one class. The best part was not having to go out in the snow, and just watching it through my window. All my roommates were home, so we hung out and watched movies and talked.

Snow is nice when you have nowhere to go and you can watch it and just listening to it fall. And no one else is out in it, except for the plows, whose sounds are drowned out by the deafening silence of the snow.

I still wish it was warm. Snow and 65o- that would be perfect.

Penn State sent me a letter inviting me to apply to graduate school. Because I made Dean’s List twice in a row. And because they probably need more aerospace researchers who are women. I’m considering it, but I wonder if I should tell them first that I’m an idiot.

And here something really sad: I went to a seminar last night about “the imposter syndrome,” which is supposedly where you feel like you’re not as smart as everyone thinks you are. I went because Chad told me that it sounded exactly like me. But the whole time I just felt like maybe this was something other people had, but I really am not smart enough to be an engineer. I completely lack common sense. And that’s probably a bad thing.

So much for lectures to improve self-esteem.

My little sister is pledging my sorority. I’m not sure exactly why I told her she should. I could say that it’s because her friends are toxic (which they really are, and they keep trying to make her break up with her boyfriend), but that wouldn’t be the whole truth. It would be more so I would have someone that I actually liked at all the mandatory functions.

But she’s going to be cooler than me, and more organized. Because that’s just how Meggie is. She’s the good student, and I’m a slacker. She’s outgoing, and I’m introverted. And I wouldn’t want to change myself much, but I can still wish that I were a lot less socially inept.

Someone told me I’m cool last weekend. I actually laughed at them.

And is it horribly dorky that I want to see Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen? Because I do. Mostly because I want to be Lindsey Lohan. But also because I’m a sucker for all things Disney.

I’ve been listening to crazy amounts of 80s music lately. Download Pat Benatar “We Belong” and “Love is a Battlefield.” Because they’re great songs.

Oh, and apparently, all I needed was a big, blank white space so that I could write.

Love you.

Eternal Supernova

February 5, 2004

“Someone told me I’m cool last weekend. I actually laughed at them.” Yeah. did that. was kinda weird. Still don’t think I’m cool or anything. still don’t feel like I ever will be. And sometimes when I think I have the most to say is when I have the least…and vice versa. I never know until I try to write it all out. *hug* I do miss you a lot when you’re gone… Much Love,

lennon.

February 5, 2004

ohhhh lyndsay lohan.can’t say im a fan.*shakes head*i’m glad to see youre back, my love.

this is your song

February 5, 2004

i love those paintings. i have his site on my favorites. take care my lovely. <3katie

depth of my emotions

February 5, 2004

I cared. So you got a school day off for snow, eh? I don’t think our college has cancelled classes since the Civil War. Heh..no really..I’m serious. 🙂 xoxoxox Jessie

Eternal Supernova

February 5, 2004

ryn: thank you for your notes and concern and support…you have no idea how much it means to me. really. *hug* and the hurting is just something I have to deal with right now…even though I don’t want to, I don’t even want to admit how much I’m hurting or why. But I’m trying.

*i am canadian*

February 5, 2004

aww i missed you 🙂

if she does

February 5, 2004

of course people await your return.don’t be ironically silly.and anyway, we’d miss you, even if you were to write.it’s all this physical space, you see?xoxo,

Thanks for the comforting words. Everything anyone helpful says is good.Sorry to hear of your writer’s block. That’s never ever fun.Coffee sometimes helps me. Or a bath. Or running.xoxo

you arent alone in the desire to see the chick flick that will have a theatre filled with pre-pubescent girls with their mothers in the back rows. i will so be there.lovely diary, btw. <33 diana ~

::points around::all this something corporatemakes me love you alreadyand i’m a disney fan too!and dont update that muchand lack common sensemaybe we share a brain?later gatorxox.ness

thats an interesting syndromei’ve actually been thinking about that lately, didn’t know it had a name thoughlove

cinderella crashed.

February 7, 2004

i have writers block too. i hate it. ooh, & 80s music rocks. i love you; take care xoxoxo.<3 caitlyn

*i am canadian*

February 7, 2004

ryn.. haha shrooms are funny.. i was seeing monsters on bart and stuff it was funny.. heart ya

Eternal Supernova

February 7, 2004

i envy so much your chance to see art so easily…i’d have to drive, or in my case convince someone else to drive me for over two hours in order to see art of anywhere approaching that caliber…

lennon.

February 8, 2004

i hate past tense.love

It’s good to know I’m not the only one on the unnatainable thing, hehe. That’s how a lot of my crushes are, and it’s sometimes not a bad thing, but sometimes I wish I wasn’t too shy to tell them. Oh, and ps- is your layout new? Even if it’s not, I love it. 😛 nameless face;* [not signed in]

I can’t wait for that movie to come out either. Quite excited actually. And I’m quite the slacker too, but then again, sometimes I get in those moods… Where I know I’ve been slacking and I need to work my ass off, so I do. That’s how I get by. Barely. Love

just.words

February 9, 2004

oh gosh lindsey lohan.have you seen freaky friday?i loved that movie.cuz i’m a dork.oh wellthanks for the noteyou were totally rightand the sad part is that i’m probably one of those people myself :(xoxo

Eddie Shaw

February 11, 2004

Very few people have the “book smarts” AND common sense. I’m willing to bet that most people in highly technical fields don’t have basic common sense. That type of thinking is too simple, and was probably secondary to becoming smart enough to get into whatever college they got ino. Does that make sense?

ah its got to be my favorite song right now.lol feel speical :)i hope everything is okay…love

ryn: he he… thank you =)though i’m sure you’re just saying that!and yes, he is, at least, i think so.though i’d obviously say that ’cause i love him to bits.i’m not sure pretty is the word i’d use though. i’d go with adorable… but that’s probably just me…i’m babbling… sorry. i’m just so damn proud of what i’ve got (matt, that is) =Plove ya! .x.

ryn: awww, cool. thanks =Dlove ya!

i have three things to say: 1)Something Corporate rock my world <333 2)80s songs are awesome-dl In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel 3)Disney=amazing..have you seen Newsies? best disney movie ever in my opinion. hot guys, no shirts, pelvic thrusts, and oh..good storyline/acting. sounds like the perfect movie to me! lol *just a random noter

lol i guess it isn’t just singles who hate it.love

opalescence

February 13, 2004

I love the way you writethat’s awesome about Penn Statego you! you sexy beast you… lolanyway, for someone with writer’s block you sure had a lot to say, 😉 xoxo

i feel like a loser for wanting to see that movies too, its all good though.

servantmc

February 21, 2004

It was good to catch up. Underneath the mtns, down here in Harrisburg, we’ve lost school days, but not work days. It would be nice to have just one closed. Ah well…maybe when we get our last snow of the season it will happen. Hugs,

ImperfectlyBeautiful

February 25, 2004

I know this may be weird, but I didn’t know you went to Penn State. 🙂 Hell, I don’t think I remember ever knowing you lived in Pennsylvania. I do miss your entries, and theres always something about your writing that reminds me of myself. *hugs* Jezsyka

Matt is constantly telling me that everyone we know thinks I’m cool. Personally, I don’t see that happening. I am so totally not a cool person, but hey.And Disney rules. Especially Disney & Pixar collarborations =Dryn: Donnie Darko is DEFO good (I got to watch the end finally) even though Matt DID have to explain it to me afterwards – lol!love ya! .x.