The Neverending Cycle
I see the world in 80’s VCR quality, not the blue-ray quality I know it’s possible to see in. And I’m almost positive that as soon as I start working out again, the perspective will change. But my life is in such a precarious situation right now. All it would take is for one thing to go wrong and I don’t think my willpower could stand up to it, could help me continue going to the gym. And I’m not sure even that would save me from the depression that would inevitably strike if this whole situation blows up in my face.
How is it that these chemicals we have in our brain affect our perception of reality so much? How can the mind be so affected by the body? Sometimes I can take on the world, I can do anything and it doesn’t matter what falls in my path. And then I’m just so tired of the struggle. I fluctuate between being madly in love with the experience of life to being determined to end that experience. And this happens within the period of whatever crisis I am experiencing. It is not dependent upon the current circumstances of my life, though the circumstances do affect it.
I don’t want to be me right now. I’m not sure I want to be anyone else either.
We’re always enamored by what’s beautiful and appealing. Something that can fill our void and emptiness but only lasts for a very short period. We eat, sleep, converse, and try to remain as humanly as possible. Who established our order, where does our intricate and profound yet flawed design come from? Why are we so exceptional at complicating things? In attempting to substantiate and approve of
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our origins and the virtues / philosophies behind life, yet there is no peace existing even in the hidden and isolated parts of the earth
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I really like this entry for a lot of reasons.
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It takes effort in correcting such feelings. I believe it’s possible. Also, I believe you’re capable.
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I guess DVD quality is a nice compromise for most people, but probably not for you, probably not for me either…
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I swear I wrote this entry. It hits home.
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Do you really think a life with less vacillation would be more appealing? Sounds almost….vacuous….to me. Then again, I don’t quite operate like you do either; my focus is different and so are my swings. So maybe my answers aren’t yours. Oh goody, I just negated my own note in my note. I’m leaving it anyway just because. At least I got to use some fancysmancy V words. Verily.
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