One More Go

I am so hooked.  Goddamn, it feels awesome!  I want to meet him so badly.  He could potentially eclipse Cody.  It’s definitely possible.

I have a few insecurities about my age, but at the same time, it’s like…I know I’m a one of a kind.  It just depends on the type of guy he is, what values he has.  Perspective, really.  I’m so focused on the romantic aspect…I just want to touch, to kiss, to hold hands, to cuddle,…I want that so badly from him I can hardly stand it.  

And I want someone to love me, for more than my looks.  For my strength and moral dedication, for my independence, for my refusal to settle, for my intelligence and mental capabilities, for my deepness and philosophical/analytical nature.  I’m gonna get hurt again, probably.  Almost certainly.  Yeah.  It’s coming, but maybe the buildup will be worthwhile this time.

Fuck. Just give me some time with him.  Maybe a couple of years or something.  He’ll be fine…and I can be satisfied with that, I think.  One more big move, a passion, a fall, and skydive faceplant into the ground on end.  One hell of a show.  One fantastic finale.  Love me.  Just love me for a little while.  I need it.