Everything Comes to An End

*sigh* Everything comes to an end.  Knowledge of the future really has a way of fucking the present up.  It’s coming.  It’s always coming.  I’m not even up to my own standards anymore, so how can I expect anyone else to be?  Everything comes to an end, even the things you can’t imagine ending. 

I never imagined that Sam and I would split.  Ever.  But that ended…so did Cody…so did all relationships…some because I wanted them to end, some because they wanted them to end.   It’s just a matter of who gets tired of who first, or who finds a new interest and is willing to take the leap.  Everything comes to an end, even fairytales…they just end in happiness suspended motionless in time…which isn’t possible in reality.

I’m just now realizing how badly the Cody situation messed me up.  Ha! He’s killed me.  I don’t believe in forever anymore.  I’ve lost my favorite part of myself.

Life was so easy with him.  Too easy.  Now..this is just dismal and I’m stuck.  It’s like I can’t even move on because I can’t believe that it’s possible for a guy to truly love anything permanently.  I even doubt myself now.  Everything comes to an end.  I don’t know how Cody ever learned to accept and be happy with that.