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Ive decided it once more. Too much time alone is bad for elina. I decide this on many-a-times. Maybe this time, Ill remember it. HA!

Today has been a ride.

From sobbing. [i think today was the peak in the waterfest known as elina’s saga of crying everyday]

To smiling.

My friends are my saviors.

I am nothing if i am not something for someone.

I am nothing if i am alone.

And oh my friends.

I heart them.

Doris told me to drink lemon juice. "The vitamin c will help with the hormones." Oh and Melinda claimed my hiccups were god talking to me and a russian bagel will help the sadness. Liz listened and entertainted me with the story about how her dad bought her 3 winter coats from ebay (!!!!). And Marina said I dont need someone to tell me that i am awesome, to know that i am awesome. And she listened to me vent. And it was nice to say hey, can you hear me out? And she heard me out. Even though my Alex couldnt talk, he promised me a night of talking, and i believed this promise.

And Evan. Well, Evan was an odd ingredient to the mix. Apparently he had been thinking about me all day and had a hard on. Clearly, I needed to help with that. And its in my nature to help.

Everything is swell, as long as i dont let my mind go off on a tangent. It dives into shark infested waters.

My friends.

My girl friends.

Once again proving. Boys and hormones can come and go but girl fun times are always there.

One might think I should become a lesbian. But. No. My girls are my home in ways, that cant be described. They are like the family without the blood. Our bloods maybe different but our souls are one.

And. One might think me crazy. But. You will know what i am talking about, if you have this yourself.

Maybe my family is okay with me leaving for new years because they know, im spending it with another kind of family.

I had been worried all these days, that after 22 years I have amounted to nothing. I havent done anything real with my life. But this isnt true. If anything, I have found the true meaning of friendship. Not the fake kind where you say "im your friend". No. The friendship where actions speak louder than words. The kind where you cheer someone up, quietly in your own way, and not let them drown in their sorrow. My friends wont let me drown. They snap me out of it.

Tomorrow. Maybe the brightest day of the week. And maybe tomorrow even more so. I am going to do my hardest to make it happen.

I am "superwoman" after all.