08/05/2011
For the first time since May, I am staying in one place for more than 4 days.
Im feeling the excitement of Brian coming over and it’s good. "I can’t wait until we get sick of each other" we joke around for when we finally will move in together. The day is unknown but that doesn’t concern us, because it will happen. And we’ll make it work.
I had a random day. I started watching Mad Men. Killed a moth [for the record, Im strangely deeply afraid of moths. It’s their erratic flying. I dislike erratic flying things like moths and bats. Last time a moth flew into my apartment, there was a lot of squealing and panting. I even plotted to let it outside by turning off all the lights and leading it outside with my flashlight and it didnt work. But today I didn’t really care. I wanted it dead. Which is another funny story because I initially threw a shoe at it and it got hurt and flew between the squishy brain toy and the budha on my desk and I killed it with the budha. There must be a great metaphor for this, eh? Needless to say, this is why i need a big man: kill big erratic flying moths]. Ahem. Went into lab so that Michael [bosslady’s husband] could give me a copy of Matlab. I grumbled about how the destroyed the parking lot near my building so that my commute is now 20 minutes longer with all the walking. But THEN I went to the store recommended by Michael and realized how much of a lover I am of stores with random delicious things and cheap cheap cheap fruits. I bought the plums and nectarines that were the size of my fists and are basically juice wrapped in a fruit skin [so fucking delicious] and I bought my favorite Arabic yogurt drink and so many other things I could have bought but restrained. And I was going to fully make strawberry preserves but when I called my mom for the recipe, I found out that it is not as easy as all the "American" recipes online. My mom was reading a hand written recipe from the 60’s that my aunt had gotten from a random person she met on her travels and my aunt made this exact recipe when she was in her 20’s. Hell yeah. Im so lucky to be able to just call up my mom and get a recipe like this!
I saw the movie, The Beginners, with Melinda and its probably one of my favorite movies. Ever. I haven’t seen a movie that had actual depth in so long. A movie that made me laugh out loud and even cry out loud too. Here is a really great clip:
There is a part in the movie where they talk about how half the people believe in magic and half the people believe in reality. And. I was thinking about how I was always the one to believe in magic. And how it has been magical with Brian. And how all this wedding planning has been anything but that. And that’s the reason I have not gotten even slightly excited about it. It’s been too "real". It’s been filled with too many real complications. And I just want to close my eyes and twirl around until all the mess becomes magical.
But seriously. If you’re into quirky indie movies, go see The Beginners.
I saw it with Melinda. She came to visit me for a couple days, and we declared it a success. We made dinner together. We didn’t even step on each other cooking toes! We didn’t know what to make so we just made "italian stir fry" which consisted of zucchini, golden zucchini, grape tomatoes, garlic, basil and angel hair [veggies from my farm share!]. We also had our share of delicious foods from cafes and even the most delicious ice cappuccino. I took her to my favorite spots and joked around how soon we would visit all of them and I wont know what to her show her! Of course we went to the amazing bookmill where we contemplated life by the waterfall where the sounds of the water rushing through the rocks mixed in with the sounds of customers walking through the creaky wooden floors looking at the walls of books.
We gossiped and discussed the current state of our lives and the lives of our friends. How Aliza is dating and living with a girl names Lindsay who is not socially aware and this maybe a problem because she doesnt have any friends and Aliza has a million friends [I really hope jealousy wont happen, but jealousy is human and it will happen so I guess I hope they survive it]. Melinda asked me a lot of questions about the wedding and getting married and even though I promised myself I wouldnt talk about it much, I did. Melinda finds it weird that I want a jewish ceremony when Im not religious in my day to day life. But I guess that’s what happens. When you start a new life, a new family, you re-evaluate things and realize what is most important to you.
Last weekend I actually met up with Cynthia. We hadn’t seen each other in years. We met in Harvard Square where I parked too far away and ended up getting the most painful blisters. Cynthia was still Cynthia. Its funny how we change but dont change. She still talked in the quietest voice where I had to say "what?" like a broken record. I had hoped that her becoming a teacher and all would have taught her to say things louder. But then again, she didn’t have a Brian that made her yell at trees in the woods to overcome the fear of shouting. And we talked like two friends would talk when they hadn’t seen each other in years. We did a timeline of events where big events were just little blips. She said how she’s behind and how everyone is getting married. And I wanted to raise my arm and scream "hell yea! here’s to us single gals!" but then I realized Im not single. It’s hard to explain. But I still feel like I can relate to being single. Maybe because I had been single for 23 years until I met Brian. I was always the single and I thought I always will be. And maybe because he and I are still in a long distance relationship, I feel like I have a certain type of independence. But I know. I know its not the same as being single. I have someone to share my daily stories with. I have someone to yell at me to get into the shower. I have a buddy. And honestly. it IS hard to believe. I was pretty confident I would end up a crazy cat lady.
It has definitely been a very social summer. Or social as soon as I leave the area. Ive been traveling every weekend to Providence, Boston or even NY. Eva is adorable and turning 1 soon [so hard to believe!]. I love buying her toys but Im so nervous that she’ll like them [or her crazy mom]. Summer is also ending soon. I definitely did not do enough work but as with most things, I think there is always later later later.
I still need to figure out if phd is a definite 1000000%. I need to figure out what I can outside of academia if I get the phd. I need to figure out if I should get a masters. And I should have started collecting data for my experiment. But alas, Im not too surprised that its nearing the end of summer and my masters project is just getting started. I ran an undergrad in the EEG yesterday and it was pretty…unsmooth. It’s not hard, you just have to remember the order of things. For instance, you should put in ear buds before you put on the cap and start applying gel. Sarah, the undergrad RA, either thought I was funny and cool or funny and lame. I also got gel everywhere because the stupid syringe wouldn’t work. We both survived. But Sarah may hate me now. [It didnt help that I asked her what movies has she seen recently as a conversation starter and she said she hasnt seen any movies since the first Harry Potter movie came out. Umm ok. fail?]
I should go shower. I always do this thing when Brian is coming over where I wait until the last minute to shower and then Brian comes through the door and is all confused where i am and Im in the shower and we cant even hug properly.
Oh craps. I was late in hopping in shower..