Back to the grind

I slept most of last night and well into this afternoon. I suppose my body was letting me know I needed rest. I’m not sure how long I’ll keep a diary on OD because I’m so fleeting all of the time but I remember sitting on my breaks in the corner at work writing entries a few years ago. I think writing is really what got me through those times. I was a 26-year-old freshman wondering if I was going to make it to graduation. I couldn’t blame myself because I had already failed twice at the whole ‘going back to school’ thing. But, as they say, third time’s a charm. What I liked most about OD was that I actually could connect with people. I’m someone that has vulnerable moments and allows people in but then quickly realizes vulnerability can be exploited and I bolt and want to forget about the connections I made. It has nothing to do with anyone but me. I’m mental in that way but I imagine a lot of us don’t want to open up too much.

But one thing I’m glad about is that I don’t give up. I know that I might run away sometimes but I always come back when my level Gemini head prevails.

This past week with school was brutal. For Federal Taxation I had to prepare this 49756243957643298569439470-page tax return for a make-believe client. Who would want to prepare taxes by hand in today’s world? I can concede the knowledge will make me appreciate tools like TurboTax but goodness it is TOO MUCH. I’ve only got two weeks left of this term. I had an elective left and my butt selected Federal Taxation II. That was a couple of months ago and I just emailed my advisor asking him to change it to Accounting for Non-Profit Organizations. I feel like it would be more meaningful and applicable to my degree and certifications.

Speaking of certifications, I sit for my big certification at the end of the month. I should be studying right now but I need a mental break. I will do some tonight at work. There is part of me that is like, ‘you’ve been studying nonstop for 7 months, take a break!’ but when I actually sit for the exam, I’m sure I’m going to wish I could have squeezed in more study time. I feel like if I pass this cert, I’ll be able to pass the next one I’ve already paid for. I was considering applying for law school this time around but I don’t think I can because I’ve still got roughly 10 months until I graduate. I believe it is only open to apply for the term starting in June. I told them this but they didn’t reply. I feel like I already know the answer so I’ll just wait.

Mom and I had a good Easter. She made a plethora of food and it was delicious! I went and got the Honey Baked Ham the other day. I called out of work because I didn’t feel well, which wasn’t all a lie. I was really tired and needed to rest. I know I’ll probably catch hell for it but I think they all equally know I don’t care. They were supposed to be closed and because of a young manager making calls she really should not have been making, we all had to work. It really got me worked up last week but I’m glad I just called out. What can they do to me? I’ve got an email from the CEO saying we’re supposed to be closed! I just messaged one of my bosses who didn’t seem to care I was out so that makes me feel okay. She knows I care but don’t care.

I need to get back on my diet but I’ve been so UNMOTIVATED. I’ll start it up one of these days. I’m just so ready to fast forward 10 months and be done with school after all these years. I can get my big boy job, move away, and feel like I’m released from the mental prison I’ve been in for years. I’m going to go make something to eat, this has been the most rambling post in awhile. I’m going to open up one of my certifications and work on that until time to get ready for work.

peace and poptarts