meh x meh + meh – meh = meeeehh

Well.  It has been a busy year so far.  David’s 2nd niece was born yesterday, Alyssa (I’m not sure how they decided to spell it).  It’s awesome; he was so excited and is a very proud uncle.  Speaking of David…our on again off again friendship is more in the off area again.  We love each other tons but it’s hard being friends when there is that deeper love there.  So yea…that definitely sucks.  Things have been so rough.  We both act like idiots and do and say stupid things…I think that if we were together all the problems we’re having would disappear.  That probably sounds naïve but I think it’s true.  We both have gone through a lot and we’re going through a lot right now, so that makes it even more stressful.  We had an awesome friendship a few years back…but even then, it was based on the fact that he wanted to go out with me.  For sooo long we have tried to be friends and it just isn’t working…I think it’s impossible.  I want him in my life so much but I’ve come to the conclusion that it can’t be as a friend.  I am happy to move on, I’ve put too much energy into this and it’s exhausting…and I can find peace in knowing that if it is meant to be then it will.  Now is not the time to cry over boys.  Nope.  I have too many goals that I have to focus on.  In the past, I’ve put boys at number 1 and well they shouldn’t even be in my top 10.  This boy was different though so I guess he was worth it at the time…yep.  Five years…..of craziness.  Wow.  It was so worth it though.  Even the first summer that we spent together was worth all the bad times.  :