where from here?

I guess I just keep on going I don’t expect any further retailations from stepth and liam etc. I should of seen this coming actually I did, I saw where my friendship with stepth and liam was going to lead several weeks before this happened I should of listened to my intutition I will rely more heavly on it in the future. the whole incident has deeply saddened me- liam was my first friend at my seconed school the only one who actually tlked to me for a long time it just shows that ppl change or maybe not change learn new things and become or evolve into something else but there original selves remain.

tommorow is going to be a bad day (at least the beginning of it. I know that now so I am going to perpare for it now its usually not the things that I know are going to hurt me that actually do its the things I don’t expect I can sheild my self (at least partially) from things which I know are going to hurt me.

I somehow doubt this postive mood is going to last much longer actually I feel its already fading- it takes up far to much energy for some reason to feel all postive and confident to think I don’t actually care about ppls opinion’s about me when I do I can almost feel there opininons I can even understand y. shame they can’t seem to do the same. I just wish I knew where I was going I wish I had some purpose.