Crocs with socks

Got access to my old diary, so that’s pretty… something. I read thru a bunch of entries in reverse chronological order the other night. I was grumpy a lot back then. I wouldn’t really say whiny, but definitely grumpy. Unsatisfied with myself.

Not sure if I’m satisfied with myself at the moment. My gut says no, but my gut is full of cheap frozen pizza and Dr Pepper and some cashews. Not really sure why I bought cashews. I mean, I like em, but not particularly when they’re by themselves. Nuts belong in other things to add texture or whatever. Like cashew chicken. That shit is delicious. I had some Vietnamese noodle thing for lunch that was really damn tasty and it had crumbled up nuts in it. Really added something to the meal. Can’t remember what the dish is called. Just that it has spaghetti noodles that aren’t technically spaghetti noodles and beef and some other stuff. Green leafy stuff and carrots and some kinda sauce. I hesitated to call it a dish because I ate it out of a Styrofoam (that’s a proper noun? I think my phone is lying to me) container.

Is there gonna be an opendiary app? That would be nice. Chrome is easy enough to use on my phone, but an app would be slightly easier. And that’s what apps are for, isn’t it? To make things slightly easier to use. I know the porn hub app is slightly easier to use than the website, but it’s not like I can’t just use the website. The literotica app is actually slightly less easy to use than the site, but for some reason I still use it when I wanna read some dirty stories about people fucking. Probably because it automatically fits my screen and I don’t have to do any zooming.

I do use apps for things other than masturbating, but honestly nothing that greatly improves on anything I could use other stuff for. I could use a real alarm clock, and it would probably actually be more effective. I use a reddit app. That actually is significantly easier on my phone than using the site. I use Relay. Used to use Reddit is Fun, which i like better, but relay is good enough, and I can’t be bothered to re-download the other one and reset my password that I’m sure I’ve forgotten.

Clearly, I have nothing interesting to talk about at the moment. Not even sure why I started a new entry.

I wonder if I’m supposed to be working tomorrow. Normally I get a text where to go, but nothing tonight, so now I gotta wake up even earlier than usual and find out.

I’m boring myself right now.

Here’s something that is not worth spending money on: a “VR” headset you can put your phone in. I was kinda excited when I got one. I used it twice, months ago, and now it’s just sitting there next to the drone I thought would be fun to fly around. Mocking my impulse control.

Borrowed a book from a friend that I want to read, so maybe I should just do that instead of this. It’s called The Gift of Fear. About how strange unidentifiable feelings we get about certain situations or people can sometimes save your life if you pay attention to them. It’s aimed specifically at women, since the world is a much more dangerous place for them than it is for men, generally. But I have several women I care about, and I want to pass on some information to them. Also, I like learning things and new information is good.

I’m already pretty good about listening to my instincts about people and situations. I mean… If we don’t include my parents, my sisters, the Cunt and her son. Aside from basically everyone I’ve ever been really close with, I’m definitely good at avoiding sketchy dangerous people.

The past couple years, after having my entire life almost completely destroyed in most ways, I have achieved a new level of don’t give a fuck. It is so easy to not care what anyone thinks anymore. Guys at work make fun of my car. It’s girly. Ha. Fuck heads, I paid $500 for that fucking car, and it gets better gas mileage than any of your dumb giant trucks you’re all still making payments on. I’d drive a pink and purple tampon to work if it was cheap, ran well, and got good mileage. It’s transportation. Doesn’t matter at all. Not like I’m ever gonna give a shit about a woman who judges a guy based on the car he drives or if he wears crocs. Hell yes I wear crocs. They are insanely comfy. Crocs with socks? Fuck yes that’s the most comfortable it’s possible for my feet to be. I give a shit what someone else thinks I should be wearing on my feet?

What’s with the hate about cargo shorts? Pockets are fucking fantastic  If I could, I’d wear pants made of pockets. Sitting on a wallet is nonsense. I’m not gonna be uncomfortable just because some insecure fuckheads think I look silly. Fuck off with your fucking hair gel and your tight jeans. Who needs that. I let my hair grow thru the winter, then shave it off in the spring. Simple. Low maintenance. Comfortable.

Comfort is the driving force in my life. Style barely even registers in my head when I’m buying clothes. At the thrift shop. First time I went to a thrift shop was because I was really fucking poor and I needed some clothes. And I got an entire work outfit including shoes and an actually nice jacket for less than fifteen dollars. Now, even when I can afford to buy new clothes from an actual store, why the fuck would I? There is zero reason for it. I recently got one of the most comfy hoodies I’ve ever worn for three dollars. Seriously. The previous most comfy hoodie I’d ever worn cost me forty fucking dollars plus tax. Fuck that. Why would I do that? I don’t give a fuck about the St Louis Blues, but who cares? Just throw my Spongebob teeshirt over it and bam. Super comfy Spongebob shirt. The only reason I even did that was so people would stop trying to talk to me about the fuckin Blues.

I jumped the gun on shaving my head this year. Its still fucking cold out there. Freezing rain today. The absolute worst kind of precipitation. I need more money, but I’m holding out hope he tells me I’m not working tomorrow.

This is the end of the entry.