February 28, 2005

sick

i’m still here
{i whisper}

my voice doesn’t let me
speak
the way i’d like to.
this sickness takes my freedom.

i can feel medicine in my blood
promising the end of
sore throats,
backaches,
and this tireless runny nose.

if only there were medicine for everything, you know? i’d like a pill for optimism and maybe some syrum for curing all my bad habits. something to cure lies. something to make loneliness go away. something to make me grow up fast and at the same time help me feel like i’ll end up ok. i wish i could give myself a 20+ year motivation vaccine. maybe i’ll build myself a parachute.

i hope you feel better 🙂 and as nice as it would be to grow up faster, i think im finally starting to enjoy the now. im afraid of the future, im warm and happy here. but here is never here for long enough

i did that biking with my friends. it started pouring, and we had to ride another 15 miles back to my house in the rain when you couldnt even see. it was so much fun 🙂 however, that stuff also tends to make you sick heh

blueskytie

March 1, 2005

feel better my dear. xx

miss me

love i wish you the courage to be brave and free xx

paint myself out

March 2, 2005

one day i will invent a happy pill, or like robin williams said on his live on broadway thing, a pill called “f.ck it all” which is just for when you stop caring.. i like the former idea best.

things fall apart.

March 4, 2005

i haven’t been around much lately; im sorry :-(. open diary is the devil. i love you. i know you’ll feel better, and when you do you will realize how much stronger you are.