Crowds and loneliness

I think that “idle chit chat” is just a keeping of the amiable connection you have with them, a means of being friendly. If you never had or needed or wanted that time spent alone and instead filled it with truly idle chatter, then there might be a reason for concern, but yours is a healthy balance. Enjoy! 🙂

I also need that quality time with myself. When I don’t get it every encounter almost feels like an assault. I need to reaquaint myself with me if I’m to be of any use to the world outside myself.

I find it pleasant not only among people parades, but also at circuses & some baseball games. Places where, for all the crowds, they’re congenial, (I said *some* games!!) so the atmosphere makes you feel welcome. Unlike the crush of holiday shopping, with often hostile, jostling, rushing, harried & stressed shoppers…as to silence: hey, you’re human…We relate as our spirit can. It’s Ok to chat!

PS~I’ll bet you might not have even noticed this chatting mode of yours (long ago, evidently) if the *chattee* had been a little more reciprocal; a polite, engaged conversationalist responds to one as if interested, eliminating that misgiving feeling of “Am I talking too much?” So, they were probably thinking of some work issue, instead of giving you proper attention. That’s my take, anyway. [Apr

If I had some of your talent I would have written almost the same entry I think. But, with a writer like you here I can nestle myself in thoughts and words which could have been mine… without the terrible struggle to get out of my words.:) Thank you for this beautiful, profound entry! I printed this and will put it in my luggage! Enjoy Goethe your chats and parades (I do) and avoid “mad” crowds.

Silence, solitude and loneliness are thoughts that often cross my mind. There was much food for thought in your words and I have to second Edelweis’s praise. As someone who knows all too well the loneliness of the crowd, this will have to go down as one of my favourite of your entries.

Oh-h, I love this entry! Definitely a favorite; personal, real.People, friends, family have been asking “why” and I’m trying to process. It’s something spiritual, though I cannot translate to understanding.Generally people think you are lonely. Aloneness-needing the solitude-is not the same thing. I also do the ‘chit-chat’ much too much; no depth, more “duty?” Great entry! [love*jil

*Shudder* I’m with you on the crowds. When in a crowd I start to feel like I can’t breathe. This was a lovely entry.

Crowds tend to make me a little wild-eyed also…I keep thinking of ways to just get out. I’m probably the only woman in the world who HATES shopping 😉

crowds, except for rare occasions, seem to have no soul

I don’t like crowds either.. chit chat 🙂 hm.. there is a co-worker who lives alone, and she chit chat all the day, sometimes a little too much i have to confess.

Once again, I so very much agree with you, Oswego. I hate crowds and I so often feel lonely in them, even in the companionship of another person. While on the other hand, standing on an empty beach at Galveston watching the waves of a gray winter sea, the call of the gulls, and peuter clouds skuttling, I feel alive and not alone! Wonderful writing as always!

My mother always told me that I talked too much when I was a child. Perhaps it was an attempt to cover up the awkwardness of feeling of such low self-esteem that she unintentionally instilled in me. I grew speaking soft, almost a mumble and too often find it much better to never speak at all. My gift with words is through my fingers and not my mouth. Silence is wonderful!

Talking about silence in the crowd of other notes, well you’ve got to see the irony in that. showing the distinction between “loneliness” and “alone-ness” was very insighful of you.

Have you noticed how everyone can so easily relate to what you’ve written? I wonder, what if absolutely everyone feels the same stark lonliness in the maddening crowd? We all brush past each other screaming in our minds. Your depth of feeling takes my breath away.

You do seem to have hit on something we can all relate to here. I know I can. I inevitably come out of WalMart completely unnerved, anxious to get back home to the quiet of my woods and the comfort of my dog. Another very nice entry.

you are most welcome – it is great that someone appreciates them there are 16 more new ones lurking on the edge of being made into an entry – the gallery is made, now all I have to do is find all the right words.

“Right now I hear a fire truck siren in the distance. A terrible city sound that is inescapable until it disappears. ” How sad, true, and familiar.

Written three years ago and posted tonight…trying to listen beyond this entry…Ryn: Thank you for your kind words…email to follow…

But– you HEAR others–you really listen. A real gift! Gypsy Song

It’s difficult to picture, through your words, you “chattering.” I chatter. :o) I don’t feel lonely in a crowd, I think it more an alone-ness – I’m unsure how to behave. Those who visit me here find the quietness disconcerting – I suppose that is expected from a city dweller, but for myself, I can hear the whine of tires upon the highway not far away and wish I lived a bit farther “back.”

Parades are so fine – they bring such excitement to the air. Where I used to live they would have an evening Christmas parade and then hayrides to view the houses lit up “with” Christmas. I liked the houses that had candles in little white paper sacks lining their walkways. I thought to myself that one day I would do that too.

I drove a car in a parade last week…it was my first time IN a parade. I was right behind the high school band. There was excitment and joy all around me. I am surprised I enjoyed it. I know what you mean about lonliness in crowds.

I am taken by this entry written 3 years ago but selected for this night, Oswego. I need to take you to the Slug Fest Parade next month. You can imagine the experience for now. And, regarding the centennial, I am afraid you will have to wait awhile to enjoy another one, but I think the talent show may be right up there in must-do-once experiences. You are welcome anytime. ~Voyageur

I too love my “alone” time, and the quiet of late night/early morning. It is when I feel most alive. Nor do I care for the crowd of parties, people pushing and shoving to notice and be noticed. Can send me into a real panic. But a parade, as you said, is somehow different. Why is that, my friend?

RYN: me “eloquent” ? no dear one…that word is reserved for your writing 🙂

As much as I don’t like being around a lot of people, a large crowd I do like. There’s something comforting in being in such a large group that you’re still invisible, and yet still with people. It’s not crowds that really bother me, it’s the more personal, one on one or small groups that bother me. In a large crowd you can be unnoticed. In a small group you’re likly expected to interact. [geek

that’s part of what i like about working in manhattan

I sat amid falling jewels and tried to describe to myself the melody being played by the wind upon the autumn instruments it made of the trees surrounding me.Such a peace and wonder lived in that moment, but I never found the words I sought.But those few moments of total solitude has remained with me and came to mind as I read this entry.You stated my feelings quiet nicely.A pleasure my friend [Da

Thank you so much for putting such a wonderful post here on OD so that many can read it! The deepest and most lonely feeling can come from being alone in a crowd. *lol* If your chit chat is anything like this post I’d be happy to hear someone like you chit chat any time. You lifted my soul tonight and I needed that. Thanks.

This is really, really gorgeous, one of the most beautiful things I have ever read on Open Diary. I can completely relate to what you say here! So interesting. Btw, that EPD&MC is one of my very favorite books. I love the chapters on the crusades and on witches. Peace,

Alone in the company of strangers. I know that feeling. I’ve been directed her by Edelweis’ diary. And I haven’t been disappointed. I’ve read the last 6 or 7 entries and have loved each one. Usually I’d have left lots of notes, but your diary entries seem complete and leaves me silent. You should know that that is some compliment! (-: And for that (contd.)

wonderful burst of silence I am grateful – usually it is a tough job for me to lose my own constant barrage of thoughts! BTW, Kafka wrote something similar to the poem here. I’ll have to dig it out. I shall have to come back often! (-: Love

i simply must set aside time to read more of your diary. i am the same way. my nature however demands that i surround myself with strangers–large groups of them. but it only ever leaves me feeling. . .hollowed out. And then I disappear, somewhere alone. just me, walking a lonely trail, or a dark street. i feel most in tune with myself during these times.

and then the process begins afresh. take care.

Thanks for mail! 🙂 Have a wonderful week ahead!

RYN: indeed, sir. You are right. And I thought about that. But I didn’t want to get too deep into it for fear of losing sight of what I want to say next. take care.

And don’t forget “Far From the Maddening Crowd”(unsure of the author.) Seems smart to me to avoid crowds since one is subjected to the huge crowd brain and I hate the thought of being crushed. I’m not meant to be part of a herd either. I like how you heard the bird a few blocks after the parade.

Oh my, this reflects alot of my own thoughts and feelings. You say it so well. As for parades, oh yes! Several times a year up here our town has parades, my favorite is the kids pet parade. And for that I am usually alone but a nice alone.

Things that hold no interest, like some TV prorams, crowds, and noise, can be tuned out if you don’t look & listen to them. Sometimes they can even be pleasing, like the sounds of a big city in Neil Diamond’s “Beautiful Noise”

I hate being in crowds. It just gets me so bugged out. There are times I feel so removed from friends who want me to go to places like Disney World, and the like with them. The crowds alone are enough to make me say “no thanks,” not to mention my feelings towards those type of places..

I to need the time with myself. But the beginning of this entry was like a afront to me. I ALWAYS talk to much at work and around people. Idle chit chat is my middle name I think. When I am quiet, people ask if I am alright. Yet when I am at home alone I do not have music or the TV on, because I enjoy the silence. Hum, I wonder what this all really means. Mostly I think when I am alone. [vanillase

I am not a crowd person at all either. I’m sure you knew that about me already. I also believe in the healing, rejuvenating qualities of silence. I plan to make it a point to get into nature for at least 3 hours 1 day a week, this is the least I should be able to have. Hubs is also a nature lover & definitely not a crowd person either. I wish you peace & joy in solitude :^) [wanderlust]A1051

Fine meandering of thought, in my book–hard to imagine that you talk too much, tho. I do. And with all the family around me, it’s that I am geared to being with others 24/7 and now in this “rewardment” at 60, I’m mostly alone. When I’m with people, I have so much to share that it can be overwhelming to others…writing in my pages does help contain the spillover, not always, tho. [mags III]A46

I read this entry last year, printed it and left an unsigned note! I enjoyed reading your beautiful writing again tonight! What you say about crowds is so true…I can easily relate to it! Have a nice evening my friend,