A once beautiful garden now lives on in memories and photos
It’s been over a month now since we finalized the sale of Mom’s house, our “family homestead” for the past 25 years. I was there frequently, living there for 10 years while I was taking care of my mother who had dementia.
Mom loved that house so much, but we three siblings couldn’t afford to keep it, much as I would have liked. It was a custom built home, designed by my brother, quite unique architecturally to blend into the historic district, appearing as if it was a mid-19th century house, even though it was built in 1995. We had no choice but to comply with the city’s strict rules governing the construction of any new dwelling in the historic district. It had to look old and historic. My brother was up to the task and the completed house was honored with a coveted historic preservation award for a new construction that conformed to the historic character of Charleston, one of the oldest and most historic cities in the country.
The house is beautiful inside and out, but what I loved best were the big porch and the magnificent gardens in front and along the side of the house. We had it landscaped when the house was built. Over the years it became a lush and inviting oasis of green, with abundant areas of azaleas, hydrangeas, and camellias, and a beautiful dogwood tree near the entrance of the house. How I welcomed Spring each year as I sat and rocked on the porch on April evenings, soft breezes swaying the branches of budding crape myrtles.
I’ve unfortunately found it hard to finally accept the fact that new owners have taken over and the garden and house are in the past.
However, I could always just drive by to look at it one more time, and until yesterday, it looked mostly the same with the exception of the removal of a statue from the front garden, a major change, but I thought maybe that was it.
I parked the car near the house and walked over to have a closer look Sunday, but it had been changed dramatically. The entire garden, front and back, had been completely ripped out. Everything was bare and desolate looking. I was both shocked and surprised, but I shouldn’t have been. However, it was a very rude awakening, something I had not expected.
It was a sad sight for me. The house, in a very palpable sense, was no more. It was gone without that garden. There will be more major changes soon, and a new garden will likely thrive and be beautiful, but I don’t plan to go by again to look anytime soon. It’s gone! I have my memories and photos, and I’m thankful for that.
I recently found a poem I wrote about the garden more than 20 years ago. I think it captures the mood and atmosphere created by this treasured and much loved space. I’m so saddened that it only exists in pictures now.
My brother told me the other day, “Let it go.” He’s right, of course, but it’s very difficult to separate and depart for good when you’re leaving forever a place you once called home, in the best sense of he word.
Before and after
https://www.flickr.com/gp/camas/92y2v9926f
The Garden
I open the gate
slowly
and with anticipation
(Ah, that portal through which we cross
And leave the old, dusty world
of traffic and noisy senselessness)
And enter a place serene
and bright with sunlight and flowers.
A gravel path weaves around
beds of vinca and tall blue hydrangea
Surrounded by Savannah holly
and crape myrtle trees and rose bushes
until I come to the purest,
sweetest-sounding little fountain
in a fish pond
with lily pads and goldfish;
and the fountain sounds like a little creek
one chances upon in the woods.
I sit awhile and listen
,
wind rustling pecan and hackberry trees,
the fountain murmuring into the tiny pond,
guarded by angels and lions.
And then I see the bright orange flash
and flowing fins of the fish
gracefully darting among water plants.
A garden is the kindest place of refuge
where patches of grass are gold-green
and zinnias flourish in a sea of colors.
In the garden, time stands still.
There is no sense of its passage at all, in fact.
I see only paths and statuary and overhanging trees
I see the magnolias blossom into pure white
with the freshest, purely clean and wondrous fragrance.
It rivals in memory the gardenia
s
which bloom in May.
And in this sub-tropical Eden,
Of memory and timelessness,
I can imagine a more perfect world
where the sun shines
and clouds sail overhead —
peaceful puffs of wandering gossamer,
vapors translucent
that chase their own shadows
over the ivy-covered walls that surround me
and keep the world at bay.
The garden, before and after:
Wow, why would they rip all that out and leave it looking so bare. It was beautiful before!! I know that shocked you so much and made you so sad, it would have me too. The house is also beautiful and so big.
Your poem perfectly captures the feeling of walking through the garden. I could see and hear everything you described in it. I especially love the last verse…very well written!
@happyathome Thank you! It will take awhile to get used to the fact that it’s no longer there, but I’ll try not to go back until it’s beautiful again.
Warning Comment
Oh, that’s tough! I understand totally! I’m of the mind that if Big J and I ever DO sell this house (where he’s lived since 1975 – and has put so much of his heart and soul into the house AND the garden) – we will HAVE to move out of town so that we will never – even accidentally – drive by this house again. In fact, we joke about the idea if, after we die, the new owners of the house PAINT THE WOODWORK – he will, indeed, come back and haunt them.
I, though, DO drive by my old house that I sold in 2017 – just curious to see what they’ve done. I loved living there, but it was really time for me to go – and many of the changes I could not afford to make WERE made by the new owner.
Loved the poem!
@onlysujema Loved your comment! Speaks quite directly to the dilemma I’m facing, namely, how painful will it be to keep going by my former home because I can’t seem to just let it all go, as my brother says I should do. When 25 years of your life are associated with a house, and it’s sold and only photos and memories remain, it’s hard to just walk away and not come back.
But since I now live just 10 minutes away, and am often in the vicinity, I’m probably going to go back out of curiosity, and just to know the house at least is still there.
Warning Comment
Oh Oswego! How very very sad & I know you are really grieving. It’s a beautiful house and the garden was gorgeous and complemented it so much. Of course the new owners are just trying to make it “their” house but still it’s such a loss for you.
I agree — you shouldn’t go back there now. Keep your memories and the pictures in your head, and let the house go. Very difficult I know, but I think the Universe is telling you it’s time to let go and move on. {{hugs}}
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