The Hole

I had a dream a while ago. It stays with me somehow…

Everything going on was normal. The room. The weather. The company.

I even seemed to be having a good time

Then I caught my reflection in a window.

 I noticed I had a small hole in my face. Kinda round. Kinda red. Kinda open

that’s when I noticed everyone was starring at me

Starring at my face

Starring at my hole

Nerves put my hands up. That’s when I felt it move.

My face melted with fear as I frantically fingered at it

Everyone’s eyes were wide. Were red. Were green. Were shaded.

Teeth clinched at me with anxiety

Then I pinched and pulled. 

I could feel it sliding down my ear canal. Through my nasal cavity.

It was wider at the end.

I pulled more.

Watching my palms fill with blood. Then I saw its eyes. Its tongue. Its teeth.

It coiled around my surprise

The ordinary crowd looked on in horror at a brilliantly colored serpent.

Spots Crimson. Spots Gold. Spots Cobalt

Then the eyes turned back to me.

Their paranoid screams demanded death.

 Fear gave it to them

I clenched my fist and cast down my birth. I clawed. I kicked. I crushed.

As it tried to come back to me….

 

I look around at the blank faces

Looking at the hole

Looking for more….but there is none

Then everyone continued as they were

As if nothing had happened.

As if ordinary.

That’s when it hit me 

And I was filled with a crippling grief.

A full term abortion

 It meant me no harm.

It was a gift. it was stunning. It was extraordinary.

And I tore it off and crushed it

For them….

All because I could feel their hatred. Their eyes. Their teeth. Their fear

And still it lingers

Their fear and my grief

On the small empty hole on my face

The hole that will never heal.

The hole that will never fill…

 

Then I woke up…..and felt the same way.