Folk Hero

Tonight I WILL write the next great American song book….then i will be invited onto Conan and tell him and the world how I want my next project to be the writing of Sasha Greys Biography.

Stranger things have happened.

Shit, maybe I should just cut out the middle man and write a song about Sasha Greys life…..I will be Ironic and not mention anything about porn… It will be a pop smash and then I will get invited onto Conan and call him cone-bone….check it off my bucket list.

Its true…there is more then one way to skin a cat.

But what would I do with my new found fame after that?…..Make random appearances on shows like CSI and Law & Order as serial rapist or heat of passion killer?…..

No

To predictable….maybe instead I will take a year off and learn to kick field goals…

Just take 5 hours of hardcore field goal practice everyday……then at the end of the year I will try out for an Ohio State scholarship.

I would get a full ride and go 52 for 53 in field goal opportunities…. Only missing the one because I tried to break the world record that I had just set the game before.

While in school I will get my Doctorates in Journalism…..then either head to war and expose the whole shit show for what it really is!!………or just head to Vegas with a suitcase full of drugs and write a few articles for Rolling Stone.

Either way America is better for it.

Then, in the next 5 years. I would create the worlds greatest beer recipe and open a brewery in Alaska..I would tell everyone the cold Alaskan mountains held the secret to the beers greatness…..but it would be a lie….

while in Alaska I would save a orphaned baby bald eagle from certain death.

We would grow and unexplainable bond of loyalty and trust that would keep us side by side for the rest of our lives…and beyond….

His name would be Homer and he would fetch things from high up places and claw out the eyes of my enemies without me ever having to ask.

We would travel to Florida and kill Jimmy Buffett for his years of shit music and grossly overpriced restaurants!

……………………

I better get writing this song….TBC