07/22/2011
That was it. White. Just white. The bathroom was white. There was a photo on the wall. a dead flower pressed under glass.
There were three of them. J.J. stevie and her man, Den, Den, they always called him Den, JJ and Stevie.
She looked at the bathroom. She smelled the towels. Nice. They smelled NIce. She sits on the toilet. She flips thru a magazine. Sports. Gardening. Whatever.
She washes her hands. She looks at herself in the mirror. She looks drunk. She rubs the makeup smudging under eyes. She flushes. She opens the door. The hall looks longer. It looks darker. He’s sanding there. Dennis. He says
I told you not to go upstairs.
She says
I just had to pee. She tries to push past him. He grabs her arm, rough. Get the fuck off me.
Shut up. He says. You have some mouth on you. J.J and Stevie. Stevie is watching. He laughs, nervous he’s nervous like den makes him when he’s evil. They shove her into the bathroom. they lock the door. the music is pumping thru the ground. She looks at them. she knows what’s coming.
Well, go ahead, they say. Pee.
What?
You said you had to go. So go.
She says, I already went.
So, youre here, go again.
Fuck you guys. She tries to push past them.
Dirty mouth, Den says, and he shoves her, hard, over the sink. he turns on the water. He holds her head under it. She cough, sputters. The other 2 watch, fascincated. they dont dare oppose dennis. This is their private moment. She opens her eyes. Sees through the water.
J.J is afraid this will get out of control. This might get out of control and he’s a peacemaker. He’s diplomatic. He grabs her and says He told you to fucking go, he kicks open the toilet lid.
AT NIGHT, it’s bedtime. Bed time, bed time is the best. Bed time is the rest. she’s cut around the eye. Dennis says, baby you hurt me but I know you like pain, we share that, you and me
and he holds her, he holds her by teh shoulders, he digs in his nails, hard, he wants to hurt her, her blood seeps over his finger tips, half moons, bleeding. The moment is so quiet.
She shouldnta had so much to drink, on account of the bed, of bad balance. She pushes herself up to leave. This is too much, tonight. She says i cant, Den, not tonight. He says, why, you wanna get romantic? okay, okay. She knows where this goes. Dennis pushes her to the ground. It’s Not hard. She’s Wasted.
Nothing needs to be said between them.
Jesus, he says..come on. we were just having a little fun
She says nothing.
What are you gonna do? you gonna call the cops?
Her look tells him maybe. Maybe this time I fuckin will.
no youre not. you fucking love this. You fuckin love me.
.