-8 birthdays

Today would be my late husband’s 34th birthday. I just wanted to tell someone, anyone, since it’s on my mind and I don’t want to bring my thoughts or feelings up to anyone, as to not bring down the mood. I don’t feel like it negatively impacts me, in particular, but rather – death is a part of life and I’m truly grateful to have known him and had the chance to spend the time I had with him.

He has now been deceased longer than we were romantically involved and twice as long as we were married. I wonder what life would be like, sometimes, had he not passed. Where would he be – how would his personality have changed – would he have gone to school or advanced in his education? Would we still be friends with those who are now long gone? I try not to think about it all too often, but sometimes, on days like today, I can’t help but wonder. My late husband was my best friend and someone I sincerely looked up to – both figuratively and literally, being 4’10.  Should you allow yourself, those ‘what-ifs’ can mess with your head negatively.