Improving Ourselves: Who are you comparing yourself to?
Hi everybody!
We are starting a continuing series of entries in this diary, that will cover different topics that we think can be useful, or insightful, or powerful for our members. There will be a number of themes here, but one will be “Improving Ourselves” (not that we aren’t all awesome already 🙂 ). This entry is the first in that series – watch for more in the future!
We happened across this piece earlier today, and it really spoke to a problem we have been thinking about a lot. One of the ideas that Open Diary was founded on, was that every person has an internal dialogue that is worth expressing and hearing, and that we all have challenges that it can be helpful to share with each other.
The huge presence of networks like Facebook and Instagram have given all of us an always-on look into the lives of others – but is what we are seeing for real? Is it the true picture of that person, taking the beautiful vacation, or eating the beautiful food, or smiling with their perfect kids? When we follow people on other social networks, are we seeing their true selves?
We would maintain that we are not – the true picture of every person’s life is much more complex, and much more complicated, than what we see from our friends and connections online. There is so much more about each and every person that is unique and special, including ourselves.
That was why this piece from Margarita Tartakovsky spoke to us – it’s a quick read, but we think it says a lot: Who Are You Comparing Yourself To?
Enjoy!
How I wish this wasn’t a lunch break.
Quick answer for later expansion in my own place: all of the women who can afford to hire me to run their homes.
@e3 thats one if the hardest ones – there are always people who seem to “have” more than us, no matter what.
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This has been on my mind for months. I posted on octodon about it back in the winter, to start. It’s really hard to remember not to fill in those missing pieces with unobtainable perfection, though. I have to continually remind myself.
@poisonnoir us too, its been bothering us more and more.
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Great read! I am a perfectionist by nature, but Facebook can send it into overdrive sometimes. Someone is always doing better in at least one aspect of life than I am there. Then I feel like I need to compete, to keep up, to always impress, to always be the person everyone else wants to be. I’ve backed off of social media use a lot in part because of that.
@queenofegypt totally! Its so hard to keep up with the perceived expectations Facebook puts on us 🙂
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I’m old enough that I wasn’t buying your fictional person. When I was in my 20s, I was payroll clerk for a factory, I worked some Thursday nights and some Saturday afternoons for a men’s clothing store and taught baton twirling classes Saturday morning. At that time I had a husband and two kids in grade school. Believe me the candle was burning at both ends and that didn’t go on for long.
@dlk082244 that was a lot to have going on!
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I think this diary is going to be fantastic. It will open the way to honest dialog between Open Diary members. I am happy to say I am not a Facebook member but still, I’ve been known to compare myself to others here on Open Diary. You know a real person and a real diary when you read of the ups and downs of their life. Life is far from perfect and we all have our crosses to bear so to speak. What’s mine? My insecurity when it comes to my physical appearance and the issues surrounding my weight. Many women post selfies and I compare myself when I see them. I always fall short. And I’m 59 years old! You would think I have a handle on this issue by now. But I don’t.
@wildrose_2 there are so many of us that are insecure about our physicality – the modern culture really has set unbelievable expectations for what people “should” look like. We hope the world will get over that at some point.
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I really needed this, often feeling like my life isn’t good enough, because it doesn’t match up to others, real or fake. I appreciate this entry and new series, I feel like I can atleast speak for myself in saying I could find value in these articles and entries posted here. Thanks!
@cherrywine_1 we’re glad, we are looking forward to the dialogue!
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