2010

i slept on the beach for half the night last night because i was too drunk and was sick in the room and thought i might be sick again and i didn’t want to disturb theodore who i’ve been in a relationship with for almost a year now and we’re breaking up any day now. but sleeping on the beach was so nice, in a blanket, with a pillow, i can’t believe how good it felt. and it started to sprinkle and i made the decision to stay out there anyway because the tiny drops of water felt really good on my face. and i got bit by a mosquito on my cheek and i decided it didn’t really matter and that i would stay. now that i have a few bites on my face, though, maybe i shouldn’t have stayed so long. but then it started thundering and more than sprinkling so i went into the bedroom and laid on my bed and ted called from his bed for me to come over and i’m glad he did because i was scared of the thunder and lightning. and then we slept together with the fan blowing over us and when we woke up everything was strange again but while we were sleeping in the bed together it was almost like we could fall in love with each other someday, but we can’t.

there is a massive spider in the house that i have decided not to kill several times. it’s really, really big. two inches in diameter. yesterday when we were driving to bacalar a tarantula crossed the road in front of us. you shouldn’t be able to see a spider from your car window! it was big and dark and i thought it was a crab. i held a tarantula once and it felt warm and heavy in my hand.

it’s grey and cloudy today but the ocean is still so i think we’re going to take the rubber boat out and troll for fish.

here’s a picture of me in a tunnel in belize:

i’m sort of happy.