When You Don’t Know How to Be Loved
Because Drew travels so much, he’s got Platinum status with I think three different airlines. When you make it to such a high status, not only do you get access to lots of perks when you fly, but they send you gifts.
Of all the problems one can have with a partner, I guess I’ll sound pretty ridiculous even calling this a problem, but as one of his perks, Drew chose a gift card to Tiffany & Company, and when it came, he gave it to me and told me to go shopping!
Why is this a problem? I’m a no frills kind of woman. I do like to look nice, but, according to my sister, it’s a “hippie, earth-mother,” kind of nice. I like jeans and blouses. I have a stud in my nose and my college ring on one hand and my grandmothers slim, wedding band on my other. He got me a pair of diamond earrings early in our relationship, and I’m terrified to wear them for fear of losing one.
I have a horrible time spending money on myself. Even free money. This card literally cost him nothing, because the travel goes on a company credit card, but 
I seriously had anxiety trying to find something that I would actually use or wear that was priced under or around the amount of the gift card.
What I could find in the right price range, were things I would never buy for myself – a lot of things with the Tiffany Logo displayed. Not my style. There are a few things that I would wear if he had bought them for me, but if I pick it out, it’s not really the same!
I ended up choosing three different items that were a right around the appropriate price point. Then I sent him my “wish list” and told him to choose, because I couldn’t. I think he was disappointed that I wasn’t more excited about it, but it just makes me anxious.
Seriously, he just ordered this beautiful necklace for me from Tiffany & Co., and I feel like crying from guilt. He loves me in ways I never imagined a man could love me, and I have nothing but my heart to give him in return. I could tell any friend of mine or family member that she is enough. Why is it so hard for me to embrace that philosophy about myself?
Please feel free to tell me how ridiculous I am.
I love this man.
I think it is absolutely wonderful and you are lucky to have such a man. I need to get back out there. I do miss having this in my life, but I don’t even know how anymore. How did you two meet? How did you tell him? Please share your love story to give me some inspiration. You guys make a cute couple. 💖
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I’ve honestly never been loved by a man. I wasn’t loved by my parents. I was told I was a burden. Treated like a diseased animal. I’d have issues too. Are you seeing a counselor to help you heal?
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You are so lucky to have Drew……He is the most thoughtful, generous person I have ever read about. And I do understand how you feel about buying stuff for yourself….I am always wondering if I should have bought something also for others like my hubby and my son.
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My friend donated one of her kidneys to her dad. And her parents bought her a necklace to thank her for it. It’s a really nice gesture, but it was something that doesn’t fit her style, it’s not something she’d wear. So she was struggling with it. That’s what your entry made me think of.
I dunno, I say just accept whatever one he picks. There’s no law saying you have to wear it. It’s basically free. Or you can sell it someplace and get something that fits your style. I don’t know
@heffay, I will wear it with pride. It’s not so much that it’s not my style, it’s that I have a hard time spending money on myself, especially expensive things.
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Drew sounds so sweet. I’d feel the same way, of my boyfriend gave me a Tiffany and Company gift card. I’m not a big jewelry person.
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