Things I Probably Shouldn’t Have Said

This morning, I stood in the shower and for some reason, conversations I’d had with students were in my head.  I always tried to be real with my students.  While I try to steer clear of certain topics, if a student asks me a direct question, I do my best to answer it honestly.  That means that there were times in which I talked to students about politics or religion or even sex.  Even at the time, I realized that I probably shouldn’t be doing this.  I could lose my job and I couldn’t afford to.  But these kids have so many questions that no one wants to answer.  It felt wrong to not answer.

So I thought I’d share some of my conversations here.  Please remember that I was speaking to teens, and was trying to reach them on their level.  Some are serious and some are, in my opinion, quite funny.  Thinking about them makes me smile.

The first would have to be the first substitute teaching job I ever had.  I was in a 6th-grade classroom and I was left a video to show.  I found the video pretty interesting, so I was annoyed when a group of girls huddled in the back to have a giggle session.  I asked them multiple times to please stop talking.  They would quiet down for a moment or two, and then went back to giggling.  I finally told them that if I had to ask them to be quiet again, I’d separate them.
One of the young ladies stood up and said, “I should come over there and slap your face.”  I don’t know if she knew that I was new to subbing and thought she could intimidate me, but she couldn’t.
I looked right back at her and told her, “You go right ahead.  Please.  I want you to.” I was walking toward her as I said this.  “I can’t hit you first, but I’m perfectly entitled to hit you back.”
Those girls were silent for the rest of the period.  It was like magic!

Another time when I was substitute teaching, I had passed out the assignment and sat at the desk reviewing the reading so that I could answer the questions on the handout.  There was a young man sitting close to me.  I looked up and noticed he was looking at me.  He asked me if I was Mormon.  I said, “no, I’m not.  Why do you ask?”
He explained that some Mormons wear a certain type of ring. (I don’t know because I’m not Mormon.)  He pointed at my college ring and told me that it looked like it.    I told him that it was my college ring and that college was the best thing I’d ever done for myself and that’s why I continue to wear the ring.  He nodded.
“Are you Mormon?” I asked him.
He said, “My parents are… but I don’t know if I believe all of that stuff. ”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like the miracles and that kind of stuff.”
I’d already been down this road myself, so I thought I might be able to give the young man some peace.  I said, “Do you know what Jesus taught?”
He said, “Yeah.  Love your neighbor.  Help the sick and the hungry.  Stuff like that.”
I said, “Do you think those things are important?
He said, “Yeah.”
So I said, “Then does it matter if he walked on water?”
A wide grin spread across his face and he took a deep breath.  “I never thought of it like that!  Thank you!”
Then class ended and I wondered if I’d just put my job in jeopardy, but I was ok with whatever happened.

One of the big challenges of teaching is that there is always a kid who wants to be the class comedian.  My problem is that I always really liked those kids and didn’t know how to reign them in without getting them into trouble.  One such young man was named Joe.  Joe loved to talk big.  He was never really disrespectful but he didn’t seem to know when enough was enough.
He was having a very animated conversation with some ladies he was sitting near, and he was making some comments that weren’t really appropriate.  I had asked him a couple of times to quiet down, and he would but it wouldn’t be long before he’d be back to his full volume.  I don’t remember what he said or what I said back, but Joe began flailing his arms and saying, “Don’t start with me, Ms. R——-!  I’ll roast you!  I’ll roast you.”
I stood up and just as loudly said, “I don’t think your skewer is big enough.”
The whole class erupted into stunned laughter.
Joe bowed to me.

TO BE CONTINUED…