October

Fall is my favorite season.  I love “Back to School.” I love the smells and colors and dark before dinner.

But then there is October.  October has two saving graces: Halloween, and the birth of my baby sister (she was born on my brother’s second birthday, but brothers… yeah).   Unfortunately, it was my sister’s second birthday when my grandmother was killed in a car accident while Christmas shopping for me.  She was 2 years younger than I am now.  Her death was the start of my mother’s mental health decline.  I was too young to know it at the time, but she was already struggling with depression.  Losing her mother suddenly, was too much and she was a wreck for many years to come.

Yesterday was the 30th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake.  If you were old enough to be paying attention to the news in 1989, you know that this is the earthquake that collapsed the San Francisco Bay Bridge, crushing so many people that the blood ran in streams down the wrecked structure.  It interrupted the World Series, which was being played at what was then called Candlestick Park.

Tomorrow is the 21st anniversary of Dave’s suicide.  I’ve been having trouble sleeping and breathing.  I’m seeing a doctor on Monday.  I don’t know if one has anything to do with the others.

Tonight I learned that one of my best friends from middle school, who later became a high school frienemy, has died.  I know she’d been battling brain cancer.  She also dealt with drug addiction, so I don’t know what led to her death.  I do know that she was only 10 days older than me.

I wish it was Halloween, so I can wear my awesome witch costume, make children happy with candy and silliness, and then this month will be over.