How I Came Up with “Onion Girl”

If you look waaaaay back to 2005, when I began this journal, you will see that I was struggling with depression.  I was only just beginning to realize that I really had a problem with it.  One of the things with which I struggled was the fact that I felt that I was doing everything backward.  I married just out of high school, then experienced Dave’s suicide and my ectopic pregnancy.  Had recently ended a three-year relationship with a man I really loved and was now caught up in a relationship with yet another man I thought I loved, but who I now realize was just using me like a drug.

I felt old and used up, like a well-worn pair of shoes.  Maybe they’re not really that old, but they have had the hell beat out of them.

My very good friend, Talib, and I talked a lot.  He talked about the fact that I was right around the age that Jesus was when he was crucified, and that maybe this is a cycle of life thing.  Then he made reference to onions having layers and people are like onions (yes, I know it’s a Shrek thing).  So I toyed with the idea of Onion Girl.  I rolled it over in my mind a bit, and realized that it sounded a bit like “un-young girl.”  And that hit the buzzer.

At 35, I wasn’t old, but I was well-worn.  Un-young.  Previously owned.

It may be time to change the name of this account.  Un-Young no longer describes me, if it ever did.  But maybe, now, I’m a young sage, which, interestingly, is defined in Google as “a profoundly wise man, especially one who features in ancient history or legend.”  Man.  Not person.  I’m not even surprised.  And this is what makes me un-young!

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June 21, 2019

I think life is a lot like an onion because each and every stage requires and new layer to become old and wrinkled and when that is all used up an new layer appears.  I guess it’s also like skin and how we shed? And just so you know you are not old till you are no longer standing…..

June 21, 2019

@jaythesmartone I know I was not old at 35, and I’m not old now, approaching 50.  It was how I felt at the time.  😉

kat
June 21, 2019

what a touching post! I love that name!!

June 21, 2019

@kaliko Thank you.  💖

June 21, 2019

It sounds like your name has a lot of meaning for you at one point. Maybe its just me telling myself that I’m still going to be young in a few years — 35 is less than 7 years away for me, but I think that 35 is still young :).

June 21, 2019

@justamillennial, any day that I’m still breathing, I’ll be young.  I’ve spent today playing Harry Potter: Wizards Unite!

June 21, 2019

Yep time to rename yourself for sure. You are still young (heh). You have years to go before you aren’t anymore.

June 21, 2019

Changing name is like having a new beginning, making a new statement about yourself. It’s a change….

June 21, 2019

I think I remember you

June 22, 2019

@raphaeltiriel, for some reason, that makes me a little anxious!  😉

June 22, 2019

@oniongirl

Anxious is good.  Have you read anything on Jungian psychology?

June 23, 2019

@raphaeltiriel Oh, yes I have.  It’s been a while, but I studied psychology and philosophy as part of my degree programs.

June 26, 2019

@oniongirl

Your onion reference reminds me of alchemy.  Cool!  I have a BA in English.  In November, I’ll have an MBA, and next year, I am pursuing a doctorate in Organizational Leadership.