Depressed in My Body?

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for most of my life.  I’ve gotten pretty good at managing it.  I know what things usually calm me down or pick me up.  I know the conversations to have with myself.

What I’m currently experiencing is some weird kind of depression in which I just want to stay in bed all day.  I haven’t showered or brushed my teeth in at least a week.  I know that sounds pretty typical of depression, except that my mind is in a good place.

I’m working on a math curriculum that will incorporate real life skills with the state standards for math, and it’s working beautifully!  That makes me so happy.  It makes me feel like I’m still a valuable member of society.  I’ve been having so much fun with it.  I’m incorporating spreadsheets, so the one student I work with is learning something new, for a change!

He hasn’t done his homework, yet, so we may be working on spreadsheets tomorrow.  I was hoping to work on grocery shopping: planning. Meals for a week, then shopping for that.

I really think it’s my health and being isolated.  In some ways, Reno is worse than North Carolina, because in NC, I had a job and made friends with neighbors.  Here, I barely leave the house.  I used to have a pretty vibrant social life.  Now I’m down to one manic cat, and my husband, whose sleep schedule is almost exactly the opposite of mine.  He does try to be up with me, but his health really worries me.

I have started counseling, again.  I see her on Friday, this week.  I felt pretty good after our last session.  Hopefully we can do that again.