Day Nineteen

April 22, 2006,

Dear Lunch Buddy,

Today was a very pleasant day. I woke up with my heart light because I was only thinking of the good things that yesterday meant, and not yet letting myself think about the bad things.

I watched cartoons for a half hour or so, and by 7:30, I was showered and dressed and on my way to my sister’s place. She and her husband were painting the den, and I told her I would come help. You can imagine my disappointment in arriving to find that what they wanted me to do to help was watch the kiddos. Drat and fie.

Baby Niece was being a bit of a piss ant, today. It turns out she had a little bit of a sore throat, so I can’t blame her terribly. But she was in to everything and she threw more than one fit.

Baby Nephew was sweet as ever. We played a lot. But about 10:00 AM both kids were down for a nap so I went in to see how the study was going. The woman at the paint store had sold them a Pepto Bismol Pink primer. I had told them to just have them put black tint in the primer like I had done here. My sister told me that she told that to the woman at Home Depot, but the woman at home depot said, "no. We just put some of the paint you’re using in the primer." That may work for lighter colors, but they were painting that library the deep crimson that my bedroom is painted. That’s why I had told them to use the dark grey primer, like I had.

Halfway through the first coat, it was clear that they would be needing at least one more coat. They would need more paint. I told them to talk to the manager, because they wouldn’t need to put multiple coats on if the woman had done what they’d asked. My sister asked me if I’d go with her, so I did. It’s funny, because my sister always talks like she’s the ballsiest woman on the planet… but she asked me to do the talking at Home Depot, because, she said, she’s just not good with that kind of confrontation.

I didn’t really think it would be a confrontation. And it wasn’t. I just explained to the manager that had the woman done what my sister had asked in the first place, we wouldn’t have to be buying extra paint. I told him that I didn’t expect him to give us the extra paint for free, but that I thought perhaps they could give us a deal. I even showed him the color of the paint compared to the color of the primer. He said he was sorry about the service my sister had received and said that if she needed two more gallons, he would only make her pay for one. I asked her if that sounded reasonable and she said yes. So all was well. (Especially considering the paint was $30/gallon).

When we got back from Home Depot, my sister BBQ’d some steak for us. It was really really good. Then we put the second coat of paint on, but it looked like it could still use another coat. Fortunately, the paint had gone farther, and there was plenty. While we waited for the second coat to dry, we watched "Sky High." She liked it a lot, as has everyone I’ve shown it to.

I got to meet the kitty, while I was there. What a beauty! It was scared of me at first, and wriggled out of my arms and thunked on the floor. But I picked it back up and cuddled it close in my arms and pet it and talked to it and told it that everything was ok. We cuddled for quite a while, and before long it was purring and nuzzling me and head-butting me to get me to keep petting. I’m definitely going to be bringing it home, one way or the other. If it’s a girl, I’m naming her Minnie, and if it’s a boy, I’m naming it Mannie.

When the movie was over, we put the last coat of paint on the study. We talked a little about Mom, and ex-husband, and you and everything. My sister is a little spooky like my mom about things of a "supernatural" nature. She thinks that dead people talk to her in dreams. Maybe they do. It’s hard for me to believe those things outside of my head, though. Inside it’s ok. Out loud it seems kind of hokey.

We finished the room and she and I went to Dragon Inn, that Chinese place in Marysville that I took you to one time. She went in for take out while I sat in the car with the kids. Nephew had the hiccups, so I tried to help him work out the bubble.

We went back to her place and ate Chinese and watched some more TV. It was nice just hanging out for the day and playing with the kids. And having had lots of experience in painting, I felt like I was lots of help to them, because in the time it took them to paint a wall and a half, I had two walls and most of the ceiling done. They thanked me profusely when I left.

It was a nice day.

I started my period, today. I have to confess that I was hoping that I wouldn’t. I was hoping for a miracle. I know it’s selfish, but I thought that if I couldn’t have you, at least I could have a part of you. Is it wrong for me to wish something like that?

My sister loaned me Brokeback Mountain. I’m watching it now. I have to admit, it’s was a little uncomfortable to watch at first, but the relationship between the two men… it’s close and connected… it’s like us. It makes me a little sad.

You may have noticed that I still haven’t put much time into thinking about the meaning of yesterday’s encounter. I’m still just reveling in the love. I love you. You love me. It just feels good to think about that and only that.

With all my heart,