Day Forty-Three

May 16, 2006

Dear Lunch Buddy

It’s been a busy couple of days, so this may be a long entry….

Yesterday morning, I had a job subbing at a local high school. At about 9:30, I got a call from my apartment manager telling me that Roommate had only paid $250 of the $425 that she owed. She wrote a note with it, saying she’d have the rest by the 19th. The apartment manager was telling me that she could not wait until the 19th and that I would have to come up with the $175 by the end of the day or face eviction.

I thought I would have a heart attack, but I didn’t. I made arrangements to come up with the money, even though I only had $4 in my bank account to buy gas and food. I wasn’t going to pay it until Roommate called and promised that she’d pay me back on the 19th. She eventually called (after several hours of avoiding my phone calls) to tell me that she had the money and would be paying it right now. She then tried to make excuse by telling me that one of her paychecks had bounced, etc. I told her that I didn’t want to hear it.

For fun, and because the router is in my room, I proceeded to disconnect her internet connection intermitently. Since we both play EQ, I knew where she was in the game and when would be the worst times to do it. It was mean, and petty, and childish, and maybe even hateful… but it sure made me feel good.

So anyway I put an ad on Craigslist for a roommate and got a couple of responses that are promising. This morning, I told Jessica that I wanted her to move out by the end of the month. She told me that she wouldn’t and that she couldn’t be removed from the lease. We exchanged unpleasant words and the conversation ended with me telling her that if she didn’t move out voluntarily, I would take legal action.

That out of the way, I went on to type up a move-out agreement for Roommate, which stipulated what conditions must be met before I would be willing to refund her deposit. While I was doing that, I got some FABULOUS news!

On Friday, I had forwarded my transcripts and work history to a credential analyst at Sac State with a note asking if there was any way to salvage my expired credential. She wrote back to me today to tell me that I need only ONE class to renew my credential, and that I actually qualify for a new credential which would make it legal for me to teach any grade from kindergarten to 12th! I’m so excited, I’m going to start looking for work right away!

So, anyway, this evening, I met with Prospective Roommate #1 (PR1). We met at Starbucks, and it was awkward for a moment, but it is clear that he and I could get along very well as roommates. As I was walking back to the apartment, he drove by to see it. He asked me a couple of questions and then went along his way.

When I came back into the house, Roommate was hovering and stressing me out. She asked if that was my new roommate. I told her that he’s interested. She then proceeded to tell me that she didn’t have to move out if she didn’t want to, but that she was going to. She then tried to give me a sob story about the poor quality of her life and how she knows I hate her now. When I didn’t respond, she sucked it up and spoke to me normally. I told her that she lies and that that’s the problem that I have with her. She finally admitted that yes, she does lie, but she then tried to make excuses for it, which made me not care what she has to say.

You and I met for a soda yesterday and held hands and gazed at eachother for the bulk of it. Today we met for lunch, and again, held hands, and talked and laughed and I told you all of my good news.  You looked at me the way you did when we had only one concern and it was burried under the joy and passion we have for each other.  You kissed me and told me that I was gorgeous and that if you kissed me more, you wouldn’t be able to stand in front of the middle school kids you were on your way to work around.

When are you just going to admit that you need me? Your life without me does not fulfill you.  That doesn’t mean that you don’t love your kids or that you didn’t try hard enough to make things work with Her.  It means that she is not the person who will make you happy.  That doesn’t make you a bad person.  So admit that you can’t live without me any more than I want to live witout you. You know it’s true. Do something about it before it’s too late.