Baby it’s No Outside
Saw this a few minutes ago. I’ve also seen/heard several snarky references to the controversy over the song “Baby it’s Cold Outside.”
Now, I know it’s unusual for me to share an opinion, but I have one on this topic. 😲
I don’t believe that “Baby it’s Cold Outside” is a song about date rape. I think calling it such just corrodes the seriousness with which the subject of date rape should be handled.
But I also don’t think that people just need to “put on their big girl panties” (a phrase I hate), and move past this.
This is the age of #MeToo, which has been a powerful revolution for women. Many of us have had personal revelations due to this movement. One of which, for me, is that, as a young woman, I was conditioned (with good intentions) to believe that boys only wanted one thing from me. Because of that, I thought that all of the pressure applied was to be expected. I thought it was my job to resist, and thus, wrestling matches with the boys/men who supposedly loved and cared for me were normal. As long as I continued to win the wrestling matches and say no, I was being a proper young lady.
If you read the lyrics to Baby it’s Cold Outside, this is exactly the mentality that I experienced. The last two stanzas make it very clear:
“(I got to get home) But, baby, you’d freeze out there
(Say lend me a coat) It’s up to your knees out there
(You’ve really been grand) I thrill when you touch my hand
(But don’t you see) How can you do this thing to me
“(There’s bound to be talk tomorrow) Think of my life long sorrow
(At least there will be plenty implied) If you caught pneumonia and died
(I really can’t stay) Get over that old doubt
[Both] Baby, it’s cold
[Both] Baby, it’s cold outside”
She protests in an attempt to hold on to her reputation. He continues to coerce, making it all about himself. In an earlier verse, he asks, “what’s the point of hurting my pride?”
How many times and how many different ways must she say no, before he stops asking? If a man really respects a woman, it should only take once. Unless you’re one of those who believe that “this is a dangerous time for young men,” I suspect you’ll agree with me.
Again, I’m not calling this a date rape song, and I don’t endorse banning it. But it’s not harmless, as it cutesifies pushing a woman’s boundaries and pressuring her into things she doesn’t want to do.
I think we should use it to start conversations.
I’ve included a link to the lyrics.
Interesting… I actually came across an article with a title.
To me, this has always been an innocent Christmas song, from my grandmother’s time… but I can understand your point of view, where he’s basically pressuring her to spend the night in spite of her refusals.
I don’t know if a classic song should be banned, though.
Sorry, I meant to say, I care across an article, on the Internet, with a title talking about this… I don’t really follow social media.
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I think people are hyper offended by everything now! It is crazy
@kaliko, just to clarify, I did not say that I was offended, and I doubt that even those who consider the song creepy are. I just think it’s a perfect talking point in the midst of #metoo.
@oniongirl I did not think you were offended 🙂 I was just agreeing with you
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It is a tiny spine on the cactus of rape culture. It’s worth noting but not worth wrestling with. For me anyway.
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When I first heard that this song was going to be taken off the play lists of radio stations I thought that people were becoming too anti history. The way things were when we were not even born or just very young children were a lot different then they are now. Things like this song are just a part of history and needs to remind us all of how things and life was perceived and how they have changed since them…..This is what history is all about isn’t it?
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As a guy who was always on the hunt, I tell you a little known secrete about guys on the hunt. When I met the hot babe that was a keeper. I never once attempted to be sexually aggressive to her. If it was to be, then I would let her be the one to seduce me. She was sooooo classy and I felt sooo lucky that she wanted to be with me! Eventually she pulled me to her bed but that was her doing. I was a good looking guy and maybe I could have gotten away with groping her. I was NOT GOING TO BLOW THIS ONE! Later in our relationship she told me that the reason she liked going out with me was that she was not continually having to fight me off of her. I won her heart because I was so very, very grateful for her. She was my sole mate.
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