Aftermath, Part 2

I went back to work the week after Dave’s funeral.  I took a picture of Dave with me, knowing that students would have put everything together, by now.  It was a small town area.  There were kids at the school who were friends with my younger siblings.

I took a few minutes with each class to allow them to ask questions.  Most classes were very polite and respectful and just asked me how I was doing.  One class had chipped in to buy me a plant in a beautiful blue and white planter.  I got a lot of hugs that day, and I was proud of myself for keeping it together.  Then, it fourth period, a student raised his hand when I gave them the opportunity to ask questions.  I called on him.

He said, “I heard… I heard that he was all in pieces.”  My class erupted in disgust and defense of me.  It was really heartwarming, but I needed to get the class under control.

I said, “It’s ok.  It’s an understandable question.”  I looked the student who’d asked in the eyes, and said, “It’s ok.  I know you didn’t mean any harm.”  I was struggling to keep the tears out of my voice.  I said, “Honestly, I don’t know.  It’s a question I really don’t want an answer to.”

I had actually been in rehearsals for A Christmas Carol when all of this happened.  I had gotten the part of Mrs. Cratchitt.  They were understanding of the missed rehearsals and when I came back, the whole cast was very supportive of me.  If you’ve ever done theater, you know it becomes like family.  We’d go to Denny’s after rehearsal and laugh and talk.  I made several good friends in that time.

One guy, in particular, began chatting me up often.  He told me that he was bipolar, and that when he’d heard about what happened, he’d wanted to talk to me.  He was easy to open up to, so it wasn’t long before I was crying on his shoulder.

Jackson was his name.  He was 24 while I was 27.  He began to tell me about his baggage as well.  At 24, he was already divorced.  He was on disability due to his mental health issues.  He was living with his father and he hated his father’s new wife.

I’m going to cut to the chase, here.  Jackson ended up moving in with me before we finished the run of Christmas Carol.  I didn’t want to live in my house anymore, so I rented it out and moved into an apartment.  Jackson moved with me.  He never paid rent or bought groceries or paid any utilities.  He was manipulative and had a thing for very young girls.  There was a 14-year-old member of the cast who would call my apartment to talk to him.  I told him that that was inappropriate and I was dismissed as a jealous girlfriend.

I talked to my counselor about him and my counselor told me that Jackson sounded like a con man.  He was deliberately pushing the buttons that caused me the most pain.  Specifically, he would threaten to kill himself, if I talked about breaking up with him.

I grew to hate his guts, but I couldn’t bring myself to break up with him and kick his ass out.   And then I got pregnant…