elaboration number one

I like to lay on the floor and look at myself in the mirror. (My closet doors are mirrors. Oh, how they help us be more vain.) Anyways, I lay there and I stare hoping to find some sort of sign or reason to keep searching. I look for beauty or something raw and I find it, but am quickly disappointed because someone else may never see it.

Why is it that I’m so deathly afraid of people and their criticism? I’m insecure, but why do I feel fine when I’m alone? I don’t want to end up alone, but why won’t I come out of my shell? I like to hide a lot, but when will it be okay to come out?

We all have our favorite game. Mine would have to be Hide and Seek. I always win because I’m very good at hiding, but I’m also good at wearing my emotions on my sleeves. It can be seen that I’m feeling a certain emotion, but no one ever knows the reason why I smile or cry or scream or fear. Maybe there is no real reason. Maybe my mind is bored and I have to force myself to feel something, because being content is like being dead.