Waste of Time?

I have never missed my college friends more than I have today.  I actually had somebody who I thought was my friend, tell me today that it was a waste of time to invite me to do anything.  I am a fucking waste of time!  I am good for her to whine over, but not good enough to do anything with.  I have noticed this over and over with any friends I have tried to make since college.  I am great for driving people around & expected to keep everybody’s secrets, but I have nobody to tell my secrets to, I don’t trust any of them to keep my secrets, which I guess should have been indication enough.  The next hint should have been when they ditched me for my birthday and then again for the C&C walk.  The one who had the nerve to say that I am a waste of time to invite, is the same one who wanted me, on my birthday,  to go to bars in another town where I would have had to drive us, and I would have had to stay sober to drive home, because she didn’t want to drink in town where I could walk home.  Also, all the stuff she has invited me to involves getting drunk, with a bunch of underagers (she is 30 something), or they are sex toy parties which I have no interest in. I am not a big sexual person, and I do not flaunt that stuff. 

I am tired.  I am tired of trying to make friends.  I want my friends back.  I have only ever made one real group of friends in my life.  People who liked me for who I am, not who they thought I should be.  Maybe we all clicked so well because we were the misfits.  Land of misfit toys, right guys?  I love you, you were the best people to ever walk into my life, and I am so much better for knowing you.  And I thank you because if I hadn’t made true friends like you I wouldn’t be able to realize that I am just being used, again.  

Grrr….I am tired of crying over a bunch of people not worth my time.