Just can’t take it in…

I so was not expecting a phone call from my mother this morning, let alone for her to tell me what she did.  The secret that she has been hiding for over 10 years, the consequences to her and her marriage…It was very shocking, and I am still not quite grasping it.  It would be easier to handle this if I had somebody else to talk to, but Mom & Dad are too involved, Amber will not know until this weekend, and there is nobody else who could understand, do not have the relationship with my parents that I do. 

I am closer to my mother than just about anybody else I know.  I love her with all my heart.  And what she told me today makes me feel betrayed.  It hurts.  It hurts me because it hurts my dad.  It hurts me because it hurts her.  My mom is $70,000 in credit card debt. Nobody knew, even knew she had any cards, let alone her problem.  It has been building slowly, since Clara died in my sophomore year of high school.  I don’t know how it happened, she doesn’t.  My dad says he can’t trust her anymore.  

Mom says they are okay, they have talked about it, they are getting help with a debt consolidation company.  *sighs* I am scared. Scared for my parents, their relationship, everything.  I just don’t know how to handle it, because my mom has been lying to me for ten years…how do I know what to believe…

I am just tired of trying to figure it out…tired of crying…