It’s been awhile

I know, it has been awhile since I have posted…I read, but I am so busy, sitting down and writing, sometimes it takes a lot of effort that I just don’t have…

Yesterday was my birthday. Most everybody on here knows that. As far as birthdays goes, it sucked. It made me realize that I never had a real group of friends before college and wonder if I ever will now. Before college, when it started getting to the point where you celebrated your birthday with your friends, not so much family, my birthdays stunk. My "friends" never remembered, though they knew everybody else’s in the group, and shitty things started happening more and more, the biggest one being the classmate killed on my 18th birthday. When college rolled around I had some of the best birthday’s ever. My friends, real friends, never forgot it. They blindfolded me and took me to dinner where I had to sit on some strange guys lap and go "bang bang" with a wooden gun (I will NEVER forget that one), or they took me to the Japanese restaurant for my 21st where we all enjoyed an awesome show and the bus boy made me a napkin rose for my birthday. Those are birthdays I don’t mind remembering. When my friends came through for me. We had some awesome birthday celebrations all the way around.

I miss my college friends. I haven’t found even one friend since we have all scattered to the wind, that is even close to being a real friend. Yesterday was a great example. For the last several years, the only friends I have had on my birthday have been Shannon’s friends, and this year they couldn’t go out drinking because she is pregnant and severely restricting what he can do…I understand that.  But I started asking everybody a month ago if they would go out with me.  By everybody I am talking the girls at work that I thought were my friends.  They all acted excited, kept asking me when, ect.  So Monday night rolls around and the first one bails on me.  She told me she isn’t allowed to drink in town here.  I don’t know the story behind it, but whatever.  She told me to come over for a drink with her before I go out.  Okay, cool, right?  Well then I get home from class yesterday morning and the next one bails on me.  This one couldn’t find a baby-sitter because she is fighting with the baby’s daddy.  Whatever, I half expected her to bail, this always happens.  I figure I can at least count on the other assistant since she wouldn’t leave me alone until I came out for her birthday despite having to work at 5 in the morning the next day.  I hadn’t heard from her, so I text her, remember she has no minutes left and emailed her.  It took her 4 hours to get back to me (I emailed her on facebook, and that showed she had been playing games all morning) to tell me that she was having dinner with her husband and stepson (who would be going back to his mother’s afterward) and so she couldn’t come out.  Now, dinner is normally around 5 or 6, and we weren’t going to go out until 8, so I think she had a bull excuse.  So when I took my car to the garage I walked to the store and told the only girl who didn’t bail on me that the whole thing was off.  She was a bummed as I was, but she had to work this morning at 545 so she relented.  Funny, she was the only one not planning on bailing, and I wouldn’t have blamed her since that makes for a rough morning, I have done it before.  So I contacted the girl who said I could come over and she was all excited and then one of the kids got sick and they had to go to the emergency room, once again, I had nobody to hang with.  

Shannon and I made it work, but little things just kept going wrong, adding up to make me miserable…