We want what we can’t have …

I find it funny that I only write once, maybe up to 3 times a week. I’ve been known to go weeks (months even) without writing an entry. But because Open Diary was down due to server issues almost 48 hours and I was chomping at the bit to write! I wanted to write so bad but couldn’t lol and that made the urge even greater. That’s the way of life I suppose. We always want what we can never have …

So the boxes are finally empty. Now we just have to figure out what we are going to do with them. Hubby wants to save them for future use since we no longer have the military doing our moves for us. Granted we don’t plan on moving for a few years but his way of thinking is if we save these (paper included) we won’t have to buy or hunt around for them when we need them. Which works for me I suppose. Waste not want not. He’d hoped to put them in the attic but the attic opening is like 3′ x 3′ (4′ x 4′ if we are really lucky) so it is going to be a tight squeeze getting them up there. The boxes full of the paper won’t make it up there so they will have to be emptied out also. He has these glorious plans of flattening all the paper. I want some of his drugs! Ass has seriously lost his mind if he thinks I’m going to spend hours or days even flattening out that damn paper. So we’ll see what happens.

I get a nice little reprieve from him this coming Monday. He has to go to Topeka for job orientation. So he’ll work all day Monday, come home shower, change and hit the road. He says it will take 5 hours to get there. Then he’ll check into his hotel room, go to his class on Tuesday and then drive back Tuesday night and go back to work on Wednesday. I’m looking forward to having the break from him! 

He also seems to have this hangup about me painting. Every time I am ready to start it, he comes up with crazy shit that needs to be done first. Now that all the boxes are unpacked, he has nothing standing in my way (except that he wants me to flatten all that damn paper lol). Tomorrow is our family day. So I won’t get to start it then. We are taking The Child to see the matinee of Hotel Transylvania & then go eat dinner at a Chinese Buffet. Oh, and I get to experience the fun of grocery shopping at Walmart on a Saturday morning. Lord, please give me extra patience to not run over wayward kids or rude individuals or smack the stupid people. I had planned on going today but his paycheck wasn’t deposited until 5 pm. Won’t catch my fat ass in a Walmart on Friday evening on payday. Especially when this town is 65% Mexicans. I’m crazy as a dingbat but I do show some common sense every once in a while. 

The past few days have been a bit difficult for me mentally. I guess because my normal routine is no more. Or not what it used to be anyway. I haven’t been chatting with anyone through text or IM on Facebook and Yahoo like I used to. I guess you could say I’m lonely. Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying not having drama and crap in my life. I just miss talking to my friends I guess. I miss meeting up with Amber every week like we used to do. This house/move pretty much ate up all of our savings so money is tight until we get a handle on what the utilities will be like, and then we are prepared for the off chance that his retirement check doesn’t come through next month like it is supposed to. We’ve heard all kinds of war stories about the 1st check lol. So we put the amount we assume it will be aside to cover the 1st mortgage payment due at the same time and for the car payment/cell phone bill also. Then, we just had her birthday to buy for and his is next week but he already knows he ain’t getting shit because he’s bought like $700 worth of tools he needs for work. So his gifts are covered for the next 2 years for all holidays! LOL But we still have our Anniversary next month (we never do much to celebrate it anyway) and Thanksgiving (have to cook my big meal even if it is just for the 3 of us) and then there is Santa after that. So yeah, we are living like poor people right now. And it sucks! LOL There is a wish list on the fridge of things we need/want to buy. Hopefully we can get one or 2 items a payday (like a plastic mat for the carpet to go under my computer chair). 

I feel like Satan decided to camp out in my head. He’s been bringing up the past and I’m having a hard time getting him out. My coping skills aren’t working as well as they usually do. I don’t deal well with anger, especially when it is coming from me. Luckily, I’m not taking it out on anyone. Instead, I’m just having a one-sided, one-person pitty party.

I found a kit I want to get to re-do the kitchen cabinets. Right now they are the same color as the floor so it is hard to tell where they end & the floor begins lol. Not to mention that I hate honey oak color. So if I can re-do the cabinets for fairly cheap, I’ll be able to live with the floors better. One kit does 100 square feet so that will be plenty since I have a small kitchen. I’m figuring that once that is done, I will get another kit and do all the base boards and trim and doors and bathroom cabinets also. But the kitchen cabinets come first lol. When it is all said and done, I may even go back and get the counter top kit and redo the counter tops also. But that’s way down the road before it will be considered.
 
See what I mean? (ignore the move in mess)

 
 
 
 

You can also see the god-awful pink wall in the living room that I will be painting. If I don’t start on Sunday, I will on Monday, Hubby be damned!

My hormones are out of whack again. I’m pretty sure it is my thyroid. I’m exhibiting a lot of the hypothyroidism symptoms. Like decreased concentration (even The Child has gotten into reminding me I’m a dingbat); loss of hair – it’s not as bad as after I gave birth and I lost 1/3 of it but if this keeps up, I’m going to have bald spots again – which could be stress related from the move; muscular pain – granted a lot of that could be from carrying around/unpacking boxes but still; cold intolerance – which could be because of the Estroven I take to minimize the hot flashes and night sweats; fatigue – well again, it could be related to the unpacking; mental impairment – yeah, I won’t even go there …. ; dry or yellow skin – my skin has been excessively dry lately, but that could be from the cooler temps, and change in water or the stress has just caused my eczema to flair up really bad; feeling sad or depressed – well, I just feel lonely because I don’t know anyone here and there is no where to go in this tiny ass town. Besides, I’ve been too busy unpacking and trying to turn this house into a home that I don’t have time (or the desire) to get out and socialize. But if history dictates how this will go, my body *should* straighten itself back out here soon enough and I will no longer be hypothyroid. At least I don’t have to go pay a Doctor for what I already know lol <br />

Well, I think I will call this a day and go clean up the kitchen. Normally I do it right after dinner but I decided to be lazy tonight lol. Who knows, I may even go try out my jetted bath tub afterwards … or at least a bubble bath … because my eczema isn’t out of control enough already lol

Till next time …