My weekend with God

First and foremost, God is good.

I was raised in the Church. I’m a firm believer in God and in His miracles. I have so many reason’s to praise His name. My life has been a struggle. I’ve not had an easy path to travel. But I’ve never had to travel it alone because God was with me every step of the way. I have no qualms in shouting from the roof tops how wonderful, loving, giving my (our) God is.

With that being said, I am not a devout Christian. I am a sinner, plain and simple. I don’t knowingly and willingly commit sins only to turn around and "confess to be absolved of my sins". I do try to live a life that would make God proud but at the end of the day, I am constantly failing Him. So if anyone is doubting my faith, know this – I know I am a sinner; I know I don’t walk a true Christian walk; I know there is much room for improvement in the way I conduct myself. But none of that means that I don’t know God, that I don’t love God, that I am not thankful for a forgiving God.

God knows my heart. That’s good enough for me and if it isn’t good enough for you, well …

I am far from a hypocrite. There is not one thing wrong with witnessing to you and/or anyone who will listen, just how wonderful He is and how thankful I am for His love. Just because I don’t walk the straight and narrow path with Him doesn’t mean that I can’t share His good graces with others. There is nothing wrong with saying a prayer for those who are in need. My prayers are true, they are meaningful. I never ask for myself because I know somehow, someway, God will provide for me. I’m not above asking for others to pray for myself, and when I actually do pray for myself, it is for guidance, for patience, for faith to see His will done.

So please, let’s leave the judgement of my faith to God and let’s move forward.

 

 

So this past weekend I witnessed God in action. I’ve seen Him perform many a miracle but this weekend tops the cake in my book. Before I begin, just know that I am not in my right mind. This entry may bounce around from subject to subject in the blink of an eye. I’ll try to go back and cut/paste paragraphs to their appropriate sections but if I miss any, well, welcome to the inside of my brain. It is a complete mess and although I have had success in the past in getting it sorted out in a timely manner, I’m not sure if I can do that this time or at least not in a timely manner … besides it’s 3 am (or 4, depending when this actually posts), work (3-11 shift) was mentally draining and I can barely see straight but I have to stay up as long as possible so I can get plenty of sleep for the 11-7 shift for the next 2 nights.

Last Tuesday Hubby ended up having surgery on his thumb. He went in on Mon for a check-up & the Doc decided it wasn’t healing like it was supposed to so he scheduled Hubby for surgery the next morning. He ended up with 3 pins inserted, which is good because he went into surgery being told it would be plates & screws. He had a check-up today (yesterday) and it is healing nicely now.

Anyway, Hubby decided that instead of sitting in an office at work all week doing nothing, he’d sit at home all week doing nothing while watching tv so he had the Doc put him out for the remainder of the week on workman’s comp. I wasn’t on board with this idea but my opinion didn’t matter. Wed afternoon workman’s comp called to check up on him & in the course of the conversation, Hubby was informed that workman’s comp doesn’t pay for you to be out of work until you have been out more than 7 days (the 8th day on). When Hubby informed me of this when I woke up (I had worked 11-7 the night before) I went livid! Oh! I was mad as hell at him! I believe my exact words were, "You mean to tell me that instead of sitting at work, being paid full time pay, doing nothing, you decided to be greedy and sit at home doing nothing, and now without ANY pay at all?" How could he do that to us? Guess that was a hard lesson to learn when it comes to greed. Unfortunately, it caught myself & The Child up in that lesson because we were suffering right along with him.

So he decided to have me take him to work on Thurs so that he could change 2 of his workman’s comp days to vacation days since he had 2 of those days left. 2 days without pay was better than 4 days without pay. In the process of doing that, his supervisor discovered that the company paid 70% pay for the first 5 days of no work for workman’s comp. Praise God! So although it isn’t full pay, 70% is so much better than no pay. Hubby decided to keep his 2 vacation days in case of a future need. Hopefully Hubby will make wiser choices in the future.

On Fri we left to head to St. Louis to meet up with his parent’s so that we could bring The Child back home with us. If you remember, had he not broken his thumb, I wouldn’t have been going on this trip. Even though 9 hours was too far for him to drive by himself.

Side Note: I am done with traveling. Done. D. O. N. E. No more traveling for me.

We took turns with the driving, which even though I could manage it all myself, he felt he could handle some of it since I had worked 3-11 the night before & had gotten up at 6 am to get ready & pack last minute items.

So there we were, heading east on I-70 about 100 miles into Missouri. Hubby was driving, I was napping. At 3:01pm central time, my mind was forever changed. In a matter of seconds, then in a matter of minutes, I am forever a changed person …

Bare with me as I try to type all this out …

I felt Hubby slam on the brakes at the same time he yelled, "Oh shit!" at the same time the force of him slamming on the brakes caused me to come up (without bringing the seat up with me) and I grabbed onto the dash, again because of the force of him slamming on the brakes. I remember thinking to myself that I probably should close my eyes because I probably wouldn’t want to see what was inevitably going to happen next. I wish I had. Because at that moment, the 2 cars in front of us all of a sudden swerved to the left (we were in the left hand lane) and all I could see was a motorcycle flipping, and 2 people flipping, over and over and over each other. I can remember yelling, "Oh God! Oh God! Brian! Oh God it’s a motorcycle!" I remember hearing him say, "I know."

What happened next, I’d love to be able to say, "I don’t know how … " but I do know how … I know it was God … it was all God …

Because of God, the 2 cars in front of us, and ourselves, and those behind us, were able to control our cars to keep from running over the motorcycle and/or the couple and not hit each other in the process. About 5 of us ended up parked in the grass, on the left hand side, almost like we were parked in a parking space, almost horizontally to their vertical.

As soon as our car stopped, I grabbed my phone to dial 911. Hubby told me to look before I opened the car door because cars may try to go around us to keep on going. I remember telling him, "I’m not getting out of this car." as I dialed 911. Then I hit "send" and got out of the car and started walki

ng to all the people standing around.

It took me 38 seconds to relay all the information to the 911 dispatcher … I placed the call at 3:02pm … in front of mile marker 102.2 on East I-70 …

I saw the driver of the motorcycle coming back to where the group of people were, the ones attending the passenger of the motorcycle as I was hanging up with 911. I let him know that help was on the way. Then I proceeded to tell anyone who looked at me or ask that I had called 911 and emergency services were on their way. The passenger, his wife or girlfriend, was awake, she still had her helmet on, still wearing her sunglasses, was very coherent. She told him, "It hurts! It hurts!" That’s all she would say and he knelt down beside her and said, "I know Baby, I know. It’s bad Baby, real bad, but help is on the way. Just hang in there." About that time he stood up and one of the person’s helping lifted a towel that had been draped across her lower left leg … and it took everything in me not to throw up. I’ve seen my share of gore in my lifetime, but nothing has ever made me as nauseous as that did. Suffice it to say, she will probably lose her left foot. I knew if I didn’t leave, I would make matters worse for them so I left. There was an off duty Fire Fighter, an Army guy in uniform, and about 7 other men & women all there helping. As I was walking back to our car, I saw her left shoe in the middle of the road … it was shredded all down the inside of it, from heel to toe … just shredded … not torn away … just shredded …

When we got back on the road Hubby was telling me about how the accident came about to happen. Apparently, it was starting to cluster up because everyone was trying to pass around a truck pulling a camper (which they were the first to stop & rush to aide). Then this heavy duty white pickup truck thought he had a break in the left lane and cut over to go around the camper, thus cutting off the motorcycle. We don’t think he actually clipped the bike, but because he was so close to doing so, the motorcycle had to slam on brakes, thus causing the chain reaction of all the cars behind it slamming on brakes and somehow the force caused the motorcycle to lose control and flip. Someone in the right hand lane cut off the white truck and forced it off the road so it couldn’t leave the scene. As soon the motorcycle driver stopped rolling/flipping, he immediately jumped up and took off running for the white truck. I think people were able to stop him from reaching the truck and the truck’s driver never got out of the truck. When the motorcycle driver was walking back, I could see his left forearm tore up with road rash. I’m not sure of any other injuries with him. But I think he was ok since he was able to jump up so quick, throw his helmet off and start running. Then again, it could have been pure adrenaline making him go.

The remainder of the drive was very sombre, very quiet for us. For some reason, the phrase "I saw God today" kept playing over and over and over in my head.

And I have yet to be able to close my eyes without seeing the events play out, from the beginning, over and over and over …

I just want peace from the images …

After 3 weeks, I finally got to hug The Child again on Saturday evening. Kim came to the hotel to visit. I wish we could have had more time together but I am thankful for the short amount of time we did have. Her 2 youngest kids swam with The Child in the pool and they had a blast.

We headed for home on Sun and made it without incident, thank goodness!

As I was unloading the car, Hubby went and checked mail while taking the dog out to potty. I had come in the house & he was standing there, reading a paper, with a stunned look on his face. After a few seconds of debating with myself with whether I wanted to know what it was or not, I finally asked him, "What is it?" Better to face bad news head on so one can accept it and move forward with it. He looks at me and says, "If I’m reading this right, we just received an escrow check for x amount of dollars. Something about an overage" I immediately said, "Oh praise God! Praise God, praise God, praise God. Wait. That can’t be right. I’ll call them in the morning. Mortgage companies just don’t hand out checks." So I called them this morning and sure enough the check is legit. Apparently they over projected our taxes at closing so since there was such a significant overage after paying our taxes, they mailed us a check for the difference.

Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!

Because that check just made up the difference of what we were going to lose from him only receiving 70% pay. So even though we don’t have an extra x amount to bank, like I would have loved to have done, I am so very thankful to God for once again providing for us. We could have been receiving a paycheck that would have put us in the negative this week but instead we broke even. God is so good.

So that was my weekend with God. Although I see God at work on a daily basis, not only in my life but the lives of all of those who are near and dear to my heart. But this weekend, I saw Him large and in charge.

Hubby had to take The Child to karate since I worked 3-11. he sent me a text saying that the monthly fee decreased by $25 a month. Can we shout out another "Praise God!" ??? It may not sound like much but at the end of the day, that is a huge blessing.

Looks like the desk clerk hired on after me is getting fired in the morning. I tried to talk Rachel out of it but she is adamant. Which means I will probably be stuck doing 11pm-7am for 5 nights for a few weeks. I asked Rachel to wait till Melissa comes back after her baby is born but she said she didn’t think that Melissa would be coming back & besides, she didn’t want to have to deal with Mariela for that much longer. Granted, I understand her reason’s for termination, and I might have even had a hand in it on accident, but damnit! I’m tired of not having a set schedule. I just want one week to work my shifts, without getting called in or asked to cover for someone or asked to switch with someone. At least I have a job. And the 11pm-7am shift works out beautifully for The Child being home. Why do I have to be the one desk clerk that doesn’t fall asleep on the couches in the lobby? Or eats all the cereal & milk or drinks all the juices. Or sits in her car for 30 minutes while on the clock. Or only spot sweeps/mops instead of sweeping & mopping ALL tiled floors, to include the restrooms & laundry room? Why do I have to be such a good little worker?? Oh yeah, because I need the paycheck …

Okay, I think I’m going to shut up now and go clean something to try to stay awake for another hour or so.

Till next time …

 

 

 

 

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