Me and my issues …

So first, let me just say, I’m really liking my new job. It still feels weird that I am actually working outside of the home after 12+ years, but that will go away with time I am sure.

The hotel is a nice one. It is still less than 6 months old so I’m sure that has a lot to do with the "niceness" lol. The 18 long term guests seem friendly. Some more than others lol. My first night, I was given a bag of Lindor chocolates by a guest so I must be doing something right. The girl who I trained with Friday evening is … well … a force of nature lol. Very outgoing, very loud, very personable, very loud, extremely friendly, extremely loud. I thought I was going to be deaf by the end of our shift! She doesn’t seem to have a concept of "respect the bubble" and I found myself quite a few times bending backwards from the waist up when she got to close to me, talking in her loud voice. I’m sure that is my own "issue" to deal with so that is why I didn’t say anything lol. But yeah, glad that is over with lol.

My second night working I was on my own. Because, well, because BAM! I am awesome like that! LOL The manager lives on property a few doors down from the office/lobby so if I had any questions, I just called her. But the phone only rang once (and it was a wrong number at that!!!) and only one guest checked in. So I was good to go. It is all familiar territory since I did the line of work for 4 years previously. It’s just a matter of learning their computer system, etc. Which would be the case if I had just left another hotel last week for this one.

I did get a pretty darn … uhm, what’s the word? … initiation I guess is a good word … on Saturday for my first night working by myself. If I never experience that again, it’ll be too soon. Although, it did bring up a lot of valid questions and new future policy procedures. Because I am all about safety … mainly my own lol.

So, we were having a thunderstorm, complete with pea size hail. Nothing uncommon around here.

 

So then it finally stopped. Which yay, because I didn’t want any hail damage to my car lol. After a while, I decided to step outside since it had stopped raining and all. As I am walking out the sliding doors, I just stop. Stop dead in my tracks as my heart drops into my stomach. Because Holy Hell, the city wide tornado sirens are going off. So I run back inside (run! don’t walk!) & call the manager. She’s all, "Are you serious?" I so wanted to say, "Nope. I have nothing else better to do than incite mass hysteria." But instead I told her I was very serious lol. So I hang up with her & decide to go see just.how.bad. it is outside. I’m such a dumbass I know lol. Anyway, this is what it looked like from the west facing south … and then east facing south …

 

My manager makes it up front and we just kind of stand there looking at each other. So of course I’m like, "So what do we do?" Bitch looks at me and says, "I don’t know. We’ve never had to deal with this before." Ok, then, well why you figure it out, I’m going to go run & hide is what I wanted to reply with but I didn’t. Instead, I called home to make sure Hubby & The Child were in "the room" under the stairs down in the basement. Of course they weren’t. They didn’t even hear the sirens going off.

People, my nerves can only handle so much chaos at one time.

So I explained to The Child what was going on and that as soon as the sirens stop, I would call her back. So she’s panicking and yelling at Hubby, "Daddy! The tornado sirens are going off!! Quick! We have to get downstairs!!" and of course he’s not believing her & she’s telling him I am on the phone telling her about it so he has to open the door & listen for himself which sends her into an even bigger panic lol.

(In the deepest, darkest, most evil recesses of my heart, I was so happy that he had to deal with her acting like that. For once, he got to experience her in all her drama glory. All those years he thought I was blowing smoke up his ass and exaggerating about her, he has now witnessed it for himself LOL)

During this time, the manager had stepped outside to "see what was happening" and the sirens had stopped. Thank God! I went ahead and took a moment to call the owner’s mother and asked her to please come sit down in the lobby. She’s like in her 70’s & lives on the property with her dog on the 2nd floor. She never heard the sirens either. Which, had I not stepped outside, I would have never heard them either. Guess the hotel has some awesome soundproofing lol. Anyway, I made Mrs. Joleen stay down stairs until there wasn’t a cloud in the sky lol.

Hubby said someone at the radar office got siren button happy when it started hailing, since typically, hail is associated with tornado’s. Which is true. However, in this part of the USA, hail is typical with thunderstorms also. However dot dot dot
 

I snagged these pictures off of Facebook
 

So maybe someone wasn’t so button happy with the city tornado sirens after all … but, that was actually outside of the town, in a neighboring town. So maybe the LEGEND is still true …

Please Lord, I do not want to go through that again. Especially having to listen to Hubby complain about The Child’s dramatics lol Because he sounds worse than her!

Aside from all of that, I really like my job lol
 

As I have discussed in the past, I have "issues". Lots and lots of "issues". Luckily, most of them are easy to live with lol. Occasionally, I do find it hard to deal with one or two of them. Mainly compliments. I can give them out continuously until the cows come home. It makes me feel good to pay people compliments. And we all know I am all about helping others.

But when it comes to me, yeah, I don’t deal very well with compliments. It’s even worse than when someone thinks of putting my needs ahead of their own. Beinga hobby photographer, I have had to "deal" with receiving compliments. Which was very hard to do in the beginning. But over time, with much patience, I have learned to accept the compliments on my photography graciously. Somehow I am able to convince myself that it is the "picture" that is being complimented, and not myself, therefore, I can say thank you and move on. Because in my twisted little head, I am not the one receiving the compliment. Yes, I know, I know. I am the one who took the picture but in my twisted head, it all makes sense to me to just misconstrue that the picture is receiving the compliment and not myself. Just trust me and stop trying to figure out what the hell I am thinking LOL

And then, every once in a blue moon, people say nice things to me, about me. I just want to be swallowed up whole by a hole in the ground! I don’t know how to deal with people being nice to me, people saying nice things about me! So just stop it already!! Gah! I’ve never had much faith in mankind. Mankind has always let me down. Mankind has always hurt me … either physically, emotionally, or mentally. When someone is being negative towards me, when someone is saying mean, hateful things towards me, when someone is intentionally hurting me, THAT I trust. That is what I know, that is what I am familiar with, that I can deal with. That other crap, the crap that is opposite of negativity, that crap can just stop right now.

" … you are a good soul.. you have faced unbelievable obstacles..you’ve gone above it….and persevered.."

" … you’re just a beautiful person..I don’t know what’s prettier …you or your personality"

"You’re a wonderful friend."

"you know, you are pretty freaking amazing!"

"You really should pursue doing your photography. OMG lady your pics are sooooo awesome!"

"I love you Sassy, it’s okay to not be perfect. " (ok, not a dictionary definition of the the word compliment, but it still affected me just the same)

(The above are just a select few of the numerous I have received throughout life, that have profoundly touched my heart)

When people say crap like that to me, it makes me so damn uncomfortable. I want to say the appropriate thank you’s and be all gracious and accepting of the compliments, but I just don’t now how. Aside from saying "Thank You" and quickly changing the subject away from me.

**When I say crap, I’m not saying it in a bad way. The words aren’t actually crap as in shitty, but it is just a short word to describe all the emotions that are running around in my head that are the result of the compliments.**

So, to each of you that have said such wonderful words to me (or typed as the case may be since I’ve not seen most of you face to face, ever! lol), I honestly and truly do appreciate them. I may not be able to express my gratitude over those words, but they do mean a lot to me, they give me hope that maybe, just maybe, the whole entire world is not out to hurt me … that there are a select few that I do matter to as much as they matter to me. And if I have ever, (or will ever do so in the future) hurt your feelings by brushing off your compliments, please accept my sincere apology. Maybe this entry will help you to better understand why I act the way I do when receiving your compliments.

Or, you could just stop the unnecessary embarrassment of complimenting me. LOL

I have to work tomorrow from 11 pm – 7 am. So today I’m taking it easy. I will go take a nap in a little while and then I will stay up most of the night tonight so that I can sleep most of the day tomorrow in preparation for tomorrow night. I plan to keep myself busy with cleaning all 3 bathrooms and mopping floors and re-organizing my office while Hubby & The Child are sleeping. At least, that is my plan lol

My manager told me to start bringing my laptop into work so that I can keep myself entertained lol. We are encouraged to use FB on their computers but no other website due to a past property getting a virus. She also encouraged me to bring reading material, knitting, anything to keep myself occupied because it gets so boring. She even had Netflix installed in the lobby so we can watch whatever (within PG ratings of course lol). As long as we don’t fall asleep, we don’t miss any phone calls and we are available for all the guests, we can do pretty much whatever we want. It’s so nice to know that I will finally earn a paycheck for playing Café World and Candy Crush Saga!! LMAO

Well, think I will go eat some lunch and lay down for a nap.

Till next time …

 

 

 

 

Sassy Moments Photography

 

 

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