Killing me softly …

This waiting game is killing me! Hubby is still waiting for his final approval for his retirement. We go next Wednesday to Dodge City, KS for a job interview for him. I wanna start making my lists. I wanna do this, I wanna do that … and I can’t do a damn thing yet. Ugh!

He had me go online to look for places to live in KS but I feel like that is putting the cart before the horse so to speak. I did something like that 2 years ago at this time when he was gonna retire then and just knew he was getting a job in FL. Turned out he didn’t get the job and I had gotten my hopes up for nothing. I had fallen in love with a house for nothing. I don’t want to make the same mistake again. Besides, I really, really, really want to go to Ohio.

Dodge City seems nice enough online. It has the small town feel to it that we both love and want to raise The Child in. I get claustrophobic real easy so the big city living is not for me. I detest crowds. OKC is too big for me, too crowded. But having lived most of my life in Charleston, SC, I can deal as long as I do things in moderation. Of course it helps that there is a Starbucks everywhere I turn lol. The closest Starbucks in Dodge City is roughly 1 hour away. Can I really survive without a nearby Starbucks? LOL Of course I could, if that is what is necessary but if I had a choice about it, hell to the no! LOL But that is just the shallowness coming out in me. Obviously there is a bigger picture to focus on … like a J.O.B. and if that is the only place where the job offers are at, well then obviously, that is where we will go. But I really, really, really want to go to Ohio.

Hubby and I have discussed "last resorts" in case he doesn’t get a job offer before Oct. 1, 2012. #1) Moving to Ohio near his sister where I will get a job with Chase and be the bread winner till he finds something he likes/wants since he really doesn’t want to work for Chase. #2) Moving in with his parents (living in their basement) in Ohio until one or the other of us finds a stable, decent paying job. This plan does not work for either one of us for numerous reasons a) we are in our 40’s – we are well past the point of moving in with parents, especially with a child b) we want to prove not only to our families, but to ourselves that we can do this and that we will survive this c) I’m too OCD and I need my own space – visiting for a week or two is fine but after that, I start having issues #3) Hubby going to Saudi to work. They are always in need of jet engine mechanics and he would be making over $100K tax free per year. That would give us the opportunity to buy a house & pay it off, buy new vehicles and pay them off and be set for a while to come. My thoughts is that, "Damn, you just got out of the military. We should no longer be having deployments!" But, because of all his past deployments, we could do this with no problems. The best part about that is that we could move to Ohio permanently, I’d have his family to help with The Child since my family proved how worthless they are to me when I need them.

I have a cousin who is on his second Kabul tour doing security as a civilian. He is making over $100K tax free also. It was hard on his wife & 3 kids in the beginning but seeing how they have been able to change not only their lives, but their kids lives, with the money, makes me think that we could survive this also. But then again, she has the support of the family to help her out so that makes a difference also lol. And then I just have to mention that separation is not always a bad thing lol. Absence does make the heart grow fonder lol

Which of the 3 will be our last resort? Hopefully number 1 … although number 3 wouldn’t be so bad either lol. But regardless of what happens, I know that we will be okay. God has a plan for us and I am trusting Him to place us where we need to be, even if I might not agree with it, even if there is no Starbucks nearby LOL I know that everything will work out. I just hope my patience doesn’t get the best of me in the meantime lol

:::must make lists … must make lists:::

Hubby did get a voice mail call back yesterday for a job in Dallas, TX. He has a friend already working at this job who is apparently trying to pull strings for him. Ok, first of all, been down that road of "friends pulling strings" and it got us nowhere except in the land of disappointment and second, DALLAS? talk about claustrophobia!!! And talk about further south than where we are now. That’s the opposite direction of Ohio peoples! So here’s crossing our fingers that this job doesn’t pan out. And if it does, well I will deal with it when I get to that bridge …

Guess I’ll go get started on my day … till next time …

By the way … You people are the BEST! And most generous! And most flattering group of people I have the privilege of knowing! Your kind words (public and private) on my recent self picture are heart warming, if not exaggerated, and I appreciate all of them!! I ♥ you all!!!!