fegh.

It’s really coming down to the wire now.

I’m finding it hard to believe I’m going to be done with college in just less than 2 weeks. What to do then? I honestly don’t know. I’ve thought about Grad school but since I changed my major so many times I’m a little late in the game to be jumping on that bandwagon. Not that I don’t think I couldn’t do it…but when you’re applying, they really look at any experience you’ve had in the field you want to go into. And how much have I had? Oh, how about NONE…

But honestly, no matter. A Bachelor’s degree in Pscyhology opens up a host of possibilities. Honestly…your everyday layman sees "B.A. in Psychology" on your resume and it’s like you instantly have 20 points added to your IQ. That’s the way it seems at least. Which is not to say I think I’m going to have the best job in the world handed to me on a silver platter – I know I’m going to have to work to be able to do whatever it is I decide I want to do. I’m just saying I realize I have a -lot- of options at this point. I think that’s partially why I haven’t made myself sit down and start considering them…having so many is pretty overwhelming.

I still really want to go to school for photography. I have at least one piece of the necessary equipment to be able to do so – my Canon Rebel XTi. If I’d really been on top of things I would have been using it to take engagment pictures for people, since it’s like people are getting engaged every five minutes on this damn campus. Le sigh.

I was pondering on that point the other day – looking at couples and new mothers with their new babies and pregnant women in my classes and I personally started thanking my lucky stars I have not had to deal with those aspects during my college education. I would like to think that I would have kept going to school and eventually finished my degree, but I think I know myself well enough now to realize that probably would not have been the case. I’m sure I would have gone for a while, but as soon as I’d had a baby (which you never really know when that’s going to happen and when it’s not) I would have quit school to be a full-time mom.

And I wouldn’t have been happy with that, not really.

The marriage possibilities I had during my time as a student (which were few and far between) – I can think of only one who would have encouraged me to finish my degree, perhaps even going so far as to postpone his until I’d finished mine. And we broke up because he’s thousands of miles away in Germany, at least until March. What will happen when he gets home I can’t say…life pulls the most unexpected twists out of nowhere just when you think you finally know what’s going on.

Eventually I would like to start a family. As shallow as it may seem, the concept of carrying a baby to term is difficult for me to -want- at this point in my life, with all the possible ramifications for my body and my long term health. That may change once (if) I marry and perhaps begin wanting to bring a child into the world that is truly mine and my husband’s. By the same token, I would -love- to adopt children. There are so so many out there who need good homes and there are more born every day.

Wow. I’m not quite sure where all this came from, since I had intended it to be an entry about how stressed I am this week. Next week is going to be a lot easier. I’m just itching to my bones with Senioritis. In any case, I think I’ve bored whoever chooses to read this quite long enough…so I’ll close this entry.

Oh wait…I’ve also been watching Tin Man on the SciFi channel. I’m more impressed than I am disappointed so far. Which, I think, is a good sign…