A visit with Speed Racer.
(Speed Racer is the moniker I will use when referring to my stepson – not because he’s ever seen the movie or even knows what the cartoon is, but because that boy goes a million miles an hour, 12 hours a day! WHEW!)
We arrived Thursday evening and B went and picked him up from his mom’s house. It has been a joy to visit with him. He celebrated his 5th birthday on April 26th, and B really wanted to be here as close to that date as we possibly could. He asked his boss for the time off and she insisted that he take Thursday thru Saturday off. It has been relaxing and fun. I know we are both reluctant to leave tomorrow.
It’s been snowing – lightly – almost the whole time we’ve been here. We won’t be snowed in or anything but it did kind of put a damper on plans we had. B got Speed Racer a fishing pole and tackle box for his birthday and would really have liked to take him fishing. I guess we’ll have to wait for next time. In spite of the snow, Speed Racer insisted on having some outside play time which was a good thing because that boy can move and there isn’t nearly enough space in my in-laws’ house to contain him 24/7!! Today he was out riding around on his bike and apparently he zoomed through a big puddle and patched out. He didn’t get drenched but he did have to come in and change his pants! Haha, poor kid, I could hear him crying from where I was in the living room and he was still outside.
His mom just got remarried at the beginning of March. Speed Racer surprised us both when he referred to her husband as Daddy. I seriously would not put it past her to have told him "Okay, now that we’re married you have to call him Daddy." I’m not saying I know this is what she did but it fits with her pattern of behavior. I think it made B a little sad, although he wouldn’t acknowledge that to me. I know it makes B sad that she continues to make it such a fight to see him or even have him stay with us for any decent amount of time. I’m sure she loves him, but I’m also pretty sure that custody of Speed Racer is something she continues to cling to so tightly because it’s her last remaining way of controlling an important part of B’s life. A lot of bipolars (not all!!) have a hard time letting people have other people as the center of their lives and I think she is trying to maintain some kind of role in B’s life in spite of the fact that he has moved on emotionally.
As excited as I am for us to have our own child I also worry about the effects it may well have on our ability to maintain an active, positive relationship with Speed Racer. I can just hear her saying, "Well you’ve got your own kid now, you don’t need Speed Racer anymore." (Of course she wouldn’t call him that but you know what I mean). And of course any attempt she made to bring that into court when it goes (which it will, it’s simply a matter of time) would be dismissed as ridiculous – doesn’t mean she probably won’t try.
I meant for this to be a relatively positive post. We’ve had a wonderful time with Speed Racer this weekend. And he’s had a wonderful time having his daddy around. He even climbed into his lap and snuggled with him last night – the look on B’s face was priceless. I hope it doesn’t have to be such a long time in between this visit and the next…it’s been since New Year’s that we’ve seen him.
Sigh.