This Ain’t A Scene, It’s A God Damn Arms Race…

Well lets see, after being awake for 64 hours with no sleep, I finally got 8 hours of real sleep for the first time last night. I did what the doctor suggested. I took a Tylenol for the cramping and a Benadryl to sleep. I took it at 2 when I got home this morning. I finally kicked in at 3:45 and last thing I remember doing was watching “Enough” with Pat. It was half way over and when he woke me up to go upstairs it was 4:30 and the credits were rolling. Went upstairs, got undressed and I was out. I woke up at 12:30 today. Still tired, but feel a little better.

I want to thank everyone for the help they gave me about the spotting. It has gone away, for the time being. Cramping is still there, but haven’t had a hard hitting one since Sunday. Only 2 more days until the ultrasound.

So today I had a break down. Pat’s highly religious mormon grandfather came to the house today, and come to find out he’ll be staying with us for awhile. Pat and I had no clue. He’s staying with us because he’s going to temple in a few towns away from us and it’s easier to stay at our house than driving 2.5 hours from Olean, NY to Palmyra, NY. So I’m upset about that, seeing that once I am done here at mom’s I can’t go to my house because he can’t be alone with me? I don’t know, I’m not mormon so I don’t understand.

Then when we were leaving today Pat got the check back from Chase Bank…where he goes through for his mortgage. He didn’t put a damn stamp on the envelope. Instead of walking 15 minutes to the back…it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump from our house, he was going to waste a stamp. So now we got it back, the check we wrote for food has already gone through which leave $600 or so in the bank and the mortgage is $840. What’s wrong here?! Pat’s short $240. So I told him that not to even worry about is seeing that the money isn’t there and we can’t bounce the mortgage check.

Then I got to telling him that I couldn’t get married in May. I see our lives never changing. His mother is always going to be there thinking she can run my house. She rearranged the way I put the food away in the cupboard and the fridge. I also told him that I can’t marry him because I want to wear the dress I picked but I can’t seeing in May I should be about 7 months pregnant. Then I told him I couldn’t marry him because I’m technically engaged to his mother.

Okay, let me explain that one. When we went and got my engagement ring, Pat didn’t have much say, and neither did I. His mother picked out my ring because SHE liked it. I already picked the one that I wanted, but she like the cheaper on and without letting me say anything she told the clerk to order it and was swipping the card to pay for it. So that’s what I mean when I say I’m engaged to his mother. It was bought by her not him.

The I brought up the baby and I seen a glimps of how it will be raised if his mother stays there. When I went to the doctors on Monday, my sister Courtney had to come to my house seeing she stayed home that day with a slight fever and cough. So she came to my house and Pat’s mother kept and eye on her while I was at the doctor. I got back to my house and wanted something to eat and drink before Courtney and I went back to my mom’s. I asked Courtney if she wanted a drink. She said yes, and I gave her her options of what I have to drink. I told her I have regular milk, chocolate milk, egg nog, Mt. Dew, orange juice, white grape juice and water. Before Courtney could say anything his MOTHER piped in with a very snotty voice with “You can’t give her milk!!” I know that milk is bad when you have a cough because it thickens the mucus, but if Courtney wanted milk she could have had it. The cough wasn’t that bad. She had been medicated all weekend. Anyways, she said that and kind of scared Courtney into orange juice. I felt terrible. I told Pat today and I was like I see this happening on a daily basis.

I also brought up the fact that we are pretty much living an amish exsistance. Our cell phones are off, the cable is off, the internet is off, and our house phone is off. The COPS should up because people are beginning to think something is wrong because no one has been able to get ahold of us. Pat’s mother is in charge of the cable. We have the All-in-One from Time Warner, with the cable, internet and phone all in one. She hasn’t paid it in 3 months, so now the bill is over $500. All she has to say is “oops, I’m sorry. We’re broke.” IF SHE WOULD HAVE PAID THE SHIT ON A MONTHLY BASIS IT WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED!!

I just lost it. He keeps saying that he’ll take care of it, but I hear that on a daily basis. We sat in his work parking lot for 20 minutes while I cried and told him everything. We got out of the car, he hugged me, gave me a kiss, told me he loved me, and said that it won’t be like this. I don’t know.

Well that has been my day so far. Fun huh?!

I stole this from one of my favorites. It’s a Christmas tree thing where you can leave virtual presents. Leave me and baby a present? I’d love it and I’ll return the favor somehow.

I think that is it though. I’m going to leave you with Fall Out Boys new song “This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race”. Until next time…toodles.

♥ Amanda

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.The Angel.