The SUN set on *YOU* and *ME*

.:The One I Gave My Heart To:.

Well lets see. Pete and I are over. For now. I guess its “safe“ enough to tell everyone what his real age is. He’s 25. And he feels its best to wait until I’m, 18…”legal“. This all came out of no where. Last night he called me and he got talking about how he’s going back to work and that we wont be able to talk to each other much or all of that stuff, and that he doesn’t want to be the reason why I have extra stress added onto myself. He is going to be working 7 days a week and when he gets home all he’s going to want to do is sleep and not talk to anyone and he doesn’t want me to call one night and him snap at me. Which is understandable. Then he just didn’t sound right and so I asked him “is this some kind of way that you are saying you don’t want to see me anymore?” He said that he couldn’t look at me with a straight face and tell me that he don’t want to see me anymore, but he can say with a straight face that he doesn’t want to cause any extra stress. He told me that he would call me back last night, but he never did. I fell asleep and when I woke up I got a text message from him saying: “Im sorry but Leah was right I am no good and you can do better!” Then I got online cause I was all awake cause my mom called me from the hospital. (My little 4 year old sister Courtney is in the hospital with bronchitis, pneumonia, and strep. And she isn’t breathing good. Her oxygen level is border line and mom wants to keep her in there for one more night just for a safety precaution. This will be her 3rd night in there.) Anyways, back to Pete and I. I got on Yahoo and I got an offline message from him saying that:

*-*Pete*-*: I’m very sorry hun there is nothing that I can say that will make this any easier. But I can’t do this to you there is too much between us for everything to just end, I do wish us to remain friends and if things can work out better later on I would like to pursue things farther. Your time is just too slim and mine will be very soon. I know I said that I loved you and I do till the end. But truly till things can completely change I can’t do this. I know it’s hard, but this cannot be till a later date. Like I said in my text maybe Leah was right cause I am a very shallow person and probably am making a big mistake but it is one that I need to make now before it’s too late or at least for now.

I cried so hard it isn’t funny. So I came back with this:

Me: How dare you do this to me?! You told me there was nothing to worry about, nothing will happen, and I believed you. You lied to me in a sense! You told me that the way things were between you and I were fine for the time being. And now, out of no where I get this!? This is exactly what I didnt want to do. In a sense it feels like you “got bored with me”. I didnt want to fall in love with someone and have them just up and walk away. I had that once and swore to myself I wouldnt let it happen again!! Now look what happened. I fell in love with you, and now you are leaving me!! This all has to do with my age doesnt it?? I am at a complete lose for words right now. What did you completely tell Homer?! And why couldnt you tell me when I was on the phone>! And if we are going back to just being friends, that means that I barely talk to you. When we were friends, we talked like once a month. I cant do that. You wanna know exactly what I feel like at this very moment?! Remember how I told you that you were a solid piece of ground I can fall onto, well now I just feel like I keep falling. That there is this giant black hole that Im falling in and you are standing at the top laughing in my face. Saying that you are sorry you let me slip. This is way beyond hurt. Its nothing. Ill just pile it away for a later date. But I can make you this promise. I dont intend on seeing anyone else, because it is you that I want to be with. And like you said, I know I said that I loved you, and I do till the very end. And about Leah its my life She says that about anyone that does something. Shes looking out for me. But after she said that, she told me that she was wrong because she say the sparkles in my eyes when I was with you and when I talked to you. She said that she never seen me as happy as I was when I was with you. But if this is what you have to do, then so be it. Ill consentrate on school, and get out of there in June. Then one obsticale will be out of the way. Just wait for me, please?! Thats all that I ask, please wait for me. Because I will wait for you. You know what, instead of me telling you how I feel, why dont you download Aaliyah’s song “The One I Gave My Heart To”…..thats how exactly how I feel! But no matter what I still want to be your friend, and like you said later down the line if things work better pursue things futher.

So that is all that is going on. Well I gotta run and go to the hospital and drop off Jessica cause mom is taking her for the afternoon.  PLCG!

-((Amanda))-