The saddest survey I have ever done in my life

Well this survey I found and its about your bf/gf.  Well I dont have neither.  And Pete and I werent “together together” since we couldnt really see each other and all that good stuff so I did it a little differently.  I thought about my last relationship…the one with Nate…and did it based on that.  So the survey has to do with Nate and my relationship…

1~Where and When did you meet your g/f or b/f? 9th grade in school because he was with my EX friend Brittany and she wanted to introduce them to me and I walked out and there he was…everything seemed to fade and him and I were the only ones in the hall way for about 5 seconds

2~What attracted you to him or her? His eyes

3~What do you like best about him or her? His eyes, his smile, the way he made me laugh

4~How long do you think you all can stay together? Well I thought we’d be together till the end, but it ended in June

4a~Do you intend to work as hard as possible to keep him or her? I tried, but it seems that I failed and I tried my hardest to get him back for some time until I met Pete

5~Do you love him or her? I did

5a~If so…Was it love at first sight or did you fall in love with them gradually? It was love at first site

6~If he or she ever cheated on you…would you break up w/ them as soon as you found out…or would you try and work it out so you can stay together? He did and yes we did break up. Then we ’tried’ to work it out and we were really close to getting back together until he did the stuff he did over the summer when he moved over here

7~Do you trust him or her? I did

8~What are you enjoying most about your relationship? I enjoyed how much he cared for me and how he would listen to me. He put me first before things fell through

9~Is he or she the most important to you, friends or something else? He was

10~What song…if any reminds you of them?  “My Immortal” by Evanescence, “Gravity of Love” by Enigma and “Say Anything” by Good Charlotte

11~What is your favorite thing to do w/ them? When we were together we’d watch movies, cuddle in his bed, have sex, have intimate talks…

12~How long have you been together? We were together for 5 and a half months…I tried so hard for 2 years to get him and all I got was that…

13~When did you first start going out? We started dating on January 10, 2003

14~Why do you like your g/f or b/f? I loved everything about him

15~Would you do anything for them? Yes I would have…if it were as small as walking a piece of gum to him to giving my own life

16~Have they been good to you? He was

17~Do you feel like you have been good to him/her? I tried

18~Do you see yourself marrying him or her? I did…

19~Is he or she fat, skinny, or just right? He was just right

20~Have they ever made you so mad that you wanted to break up w/ him or her? Yes when stuff started going bad

21~Biggest turn on? Him liking my ear

22~Biggest turn off? Nothing

23~What do you look for in a guy or girl? Someone who can make me laugh, a good listener, stunning eyes…

24~Does your b/f or g/f have any of that? He did…

This is so pathetic…but I just cant stop thinking about him and how much I miss him.  Its sick!!  But I dont want him back.  He did nothing but hurt me…but when I did this survey, it made me remember all of the good times that we had.  How he cared and everything.  I remember when I told him that I had to lose him and stay with my mom or move to my fathers and keep him.  He poured his heart out to me.  Hes still with me somehow.  I think that is why I have been so depressed for the past month or so.  Hes been on my mind all the time.  I dreamt about him the other night…I snuck out of my window and ran down the street.  He snuck out of his house and met me in the middle of the street, grabbed me and said that this was the only way we could be together if we ran away together and he put me in his arms, held me close and kissed me.  It felt so real, but I know it wasnt.  And the crazy thing about his new relationship and that his girlfriends name is Amanda…ironic?  And the very last time I talked to him we were talking about my relationship with Pete and he was very curious.  He kept asking me about him and stuff.  And then he left without saying anything and that night he got on and said that he could only talk to me if Amanda didnt know cause she dont like me.  We were talking about the new experiences that I have gone through and he said that he wished he could have taught me some of the things that I have learned and he wished he could have been there.  What am I suppose to think of that?!

Well im gonna go…I think I got out all that I wanted to at this very moment!!  PLCG and Ill update when I get home and tell you how spending the night with Pete went.

-((Amanda))-