Someone shoot me please….

Why does this shit have to happen? Especially today…the day after my birthday. Guess who sent me a message….PETE. Here’s the conversation:

Pete: well hello
ME: ello!!
Pete: what is this stuff i hear about marriage
ME: you hear right
Pete: you went over this whole great big thing not too long ago where you didn’t want anything to do with men now this you really are an odd individual
ME: what great big thing? the rape thing. i was with the person when it happened
Pete: i believe the words you used were i don’t ever wanna hear about sex in any way shape or form ever again
ME: but never swore off men
Pete: i don’t know what to think of all this it is kind of a shock to my recesses
ME: may i ask why is it such a shock?
Pete: you fall off the face of the earth to me no matter my attempts i dont hear anything from you other than the ocassional IM then i hear about this it is just a shock
ME: i never fell off the face of the earth. i kept in contact when i could. i confessed that i was in love with you, and you pretty much through that in my face.
Pete: i thrrew nothing in your face
Pete: i cared about you a great deal and the more i wanted to spend time with you the less time you seemed to have
ME: i worked really weird hours. why couldnt you have been like this 2 years ago?
Pete: i’m not saying that what you are doing is a bad thing i’m just attempting to express my surprise
Pete: been like what
ME: i know and it hurts
ME: nevermind
Pete: it hurts that i’m surprised
ME: yes it does
Pete: i don’t mean to cause you any pain it was just a surprise this must just be the time(year, month) whichever that people are getting married i have been to one already and a friend from the track just got married last weekend i’m just…..
ME: not until May of 07
Pete: still within a year
Pete: sweety you know that i love you to death and i do not wish for you to doubt or worry or anything like that and no matter what i wish you the best and happiest in all your ventures i just was kind o fsurprised when i got the info from gordon only because i don’t have a myspace and i seem to sleep more than i spend on the computer now only with too many jobs
ME: hold on
ME: why couldnt you say half of this to me back then when I wanted nothing more than to be with you. I didn’t tell you that i was getting married for a reason and when Gordon found out because i didn’t think…my whole insides fell apart
Pete: i wish that i could have talked to you more often
Pete: i’m sorry i gotta be making this a pain in your ass or somewhere else, either way happy birthday and congratulations and well wishing for years to come
ME: you make this seem like you’re saying good bye
Pete: not at all
Pete: i just don’t want to be a speed bump or road block
ME: it doesnt matter if you said anything or not. you are just always with me.

I’ll edit this later. WE aren’t done talking yet.

♥ Amanda

.The Angel.