…It’s just a sweet fantasy…

WARNING: A little graphic!!
The dramafied me…Hey there everyone. It’s been a couple day’s since I updated. I thought it was about time, seeing that everyone is sleeping in the living room at the moment. Hmm, well let’s see, I hope the last entry explaining why I went to court helped everyone out. We got the papers to file for an attorney. Mom filled out her half and now I am just waiting until tomorrow when Dad brings Brandon home for him to fill out his part. Other than that, that’s what going on with this whole court mess. I have calmed down with it as well. I’m not as worried now, or if I am, I am not showing it on the outside.

I went and seen my most favoritest people in the whole wide world. Tracy, Fred, and Phil…my co-workers. They miss me mad much. They want me to come back to work so bad, and I keep telling them if I could I would. I hate not having a job. I get so bored that it’s driving me nuts. And on top of that, John had been giving me money for gas and stuff when his check was so small this week. It is only Sunday and he has until Friday to wait for another pay check. He’s already bought me gummy bears, peanut M&M’s, 3 packs of cigarettes, and gave me $10 for my gas tank. I feel so bad. I feel so impotent, but I am looking. I am hoping to hell that I get called in for a second interview. If I don’t hear anything by Thursday I will travel down there and see. Mom erased the number so I don’t know what it is anymore.

Hmm, well Jason and I, I guess, are no longer friends. Well I talked to Matt last night. This is what he had to say to me:

Matt : I want to know why Jason was yelling at me and who told you you cant stay at the Ramada and Jason does not want to talk to you anymore and Jason told me about everything you talked about and did.

I called Jason and apparently what Matt said was right, Jason doesn’t wanna talk to me. Which, to be honest is no big lose to me anyways. I barely knew the guy. I admit it was a little sluttish of me to try and sleep with him, but hey I didn’t care at the moment. But to be honest with you, we did agree to remain friends, but seeing that he runs behind my back and tells other people and I hear it through others it’s quite shallow on his part. Come on, I am 19 and can tell people to there face what I feel, but he’s 29 and still runs behind the backs of people and when they call him on it, he has no really concrete answer other than “a multitude of reasons.” What the fuck ever ya know. All I have to say is that it’s really shallow on his part that 1, he didn’t tell me to my face, and 2, this has to do with the fact that John and I are back together. IF he was really my friend then he’d deal with it. But what ever…I am also saying this knowing that he reads this so now he knows my feeling on the situation. In plain simple English, it’s really low and stupid!!

Anyways, onward. John started his new job today at Pactiv. He’s all excited. I am too, but in a way sad because I won’t be able to just go up town just say hi at the store. I have to wait until he gets out of work after midnight. Tonight after work he is coming over to ‘kidnap me’ in his words. He tells mom that all the time and all she has to say is “good!! Take her!!” I love my mom. He’s been here for the past 2 days just being with me for the day. Hasn’t stayed here but that’s ok. The other night when he was here is was because he had to work and last night, to be honest, my legs where all stubbly and I just didn’t want him to sleep with me. OH, speak of sleeping, I made him cum the other night!! I found out what works. Apparently if I tease him all day, not just at the point in time when we are about to have sex, and get a little dirty with him it works. I teased him all Friday night when he was here. Then when we went in my room and we were having sex I would just say shit that worked. Apparently repeating ‘fuck me’ and ‘harder’ works great!! We were about 20 minutes into it and all of a sudden I felt a huge rush and he started to pulsate inside me and I asked if he was ok and he said that he just came. I was so fucking happy you have no idea. Anyways…enough information I guess, but hey it’s my diary and I don’t care what I write.

Mom likes him. Which is great. She was talking to Virginia about him and she said that she liked him and that he was a nice person. I am so happy I have her approval. With all the other people I’ve dated she’s hated with a passion.

Hmm, what else. Oh words from Sean. Tracy asked him the other day if he’s talked to his girlfriend, meaning me, and was like “no she hasn’t called.” So I sent him a text message last night. Nothing in return but when Tracy got in this morning she asked if he got my message and he said yeah and that he was sleeping when he got it and that I just need to grow some balls and just call him. I will if not today, then probably tomorrow. I don’t know. He still owes me a talk, and I don’t really care if I am with John or not. I want to know what he feels about me. It’s a curiosity thing.

Well I think that is it for this entry. So I am going get outta here and go smoke a cigarette in the ran. PLCG!!

-A*

Read John’s diary…Teluth

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