If I were invisible….wait I already am………

Hey there everyone….long time no write.  Well its kinda hard to write in here when you dont have the interent.  It has been such an upsetting week its not funny.  Well for starters, I still havent talked to Nate.  Leah told me that she talked to him, and that he said that in his eyes im not but a whore!!  I dont know what I did to make him think that.  It hurts so much to know that the person that you love more than life itself hates you that much.  Secondly, Chewy and I have gotten really close.  Chewy is the guy that I like.  I call him Chewy now cause he can make that sound from Star Wars by Chewy Backa(or however you spell it) so I call him Chewy.  He has become one of my best friends….but I hope him and I hook up.  I really do.  He would brighten up my life so much. 

Mom and I got into a fight again, and she told me that she was gonna send me away if I dont stop acting “childish”!!  Hello, Im 17, Im suppose to be doing kid stuff….Im still a kid….in a way.  So yeah….she upset me and I went back to school in tears.

Im sicker than god knows what to do with.  My whole body is cold, my head is all stuffy….basically I feel like shit!! 

I went to Chewys chorus concert tonight.  He did so good.  He was my total eye focus.  I really miss being in chorus.  Singing is like one thing that takes away all that is bad in my life….for like 5 minutes.  It makes me feel so much better.  So while I was sitting there in the audience, I just got goofy happy.  I was smiling and it was great.  All I wanted to do was get up on the stage and sing with them.  I miss it so much.

Hmm….well Im gonna get outta here….I dont know what to really say.  Just that shit isnt goin great.  I wish it would just good go for once, and stay good for more than 2.2 seconds!!  Night everyone!!

((Amanda))

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invisible
I’d make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest girl
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)