Crossing My Fingers For Good News…

Good evening everyone. I felt a need to update and keep my word in trying harder. We will see how far I get.

Tomorrow we are suppose to hear from the Realtor about the house. I called the mortgage lady today and left her a message. The Realtor said that he spoke with her and she said she might have a plan on how to improve my credit. I’ll take what I can get. We want this house so bad that we can actually see ourselves living there.

Now about the gastric bypass…I’ve been thinking of going to another facility. I’m hesitant, but we’ll see.

Been having a bunch of dreams about Pete lately. I hate them. I’d wish they’d stop…they always end up with him and I falling back in love and leaving each other partners for each other. I’m still friends with him, but seeing the pictures of his “pre-made family” just slices slices a bit in my heart. It’s like tiny paper cuts. They heal, then new pictures are added and new paper cuts are made. Is it wrong that after all of these years I still feel like this? I think it’s weird. Him and I haven’t been a himhim I for 7 years and yet just pictures hurt. Is it because I loved him so much and would have given him the world then he threw me away because she had a pre-made family? Is it because there wasn’t any closure? He tried when it was early in mine and Pats relationship to reel me back in, but I didn’t go. I stayed due to my family in the making and I love Pat.

Hmm, this is the most I’ve ever written on my Kindle. I feel better getting some of this stuff off my chest. I forgot how helpful writing here is. Worth that said I am going to end here. Until next time…

♥ Amanda