Contemporized Story for English Lit

We had an assignment over the weekend to take a fairytale, fable, folklore, or whatever and we had to contemporize it. Here is what I wrote:

There once lived a family nestled on the outskirts of Tallahassee, Florida. There was your typical mother who longed to be a mom and once her wish was granted, doted on her two daughters. A hard working father who, like the mother, did everything he could to make sure his daughters were sublimely happy. Alison, who was the eldest of the two girls, was quite beautiful. She was tall, with shoulder-length blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. Zoe was the baby of the family, but only by 16 minutes. She too, was equally beautiful, except she was shorter, had long brown hair, and milk chocolate eyes. On the outside you’d think they were the perfect family. But looks can be deceiving.

Alison and Zoe attended the same school and were in the same grade. They were the queen bees of the school. Naturally their friend mix was identical. There were two friends in particular in this group that Alison and Zoe hung out with the most. Shannon and Carla were the right and left wings. People would say they resembled the Plastics from the movie “Mean Girls”. A long time ago, the girls created a little “girls only” club called the Trix. The X was important because it was the symbol of the group—an X over ones mouth keeping all secrets hidden under an X. The girls would play tricks on one another. At first they were innocent child-like tricks like moving ones books to the other side of the room and putting a fake snake in ones desk. At first it was fun, but once the girls started to come of age they were getting bored with the innocent tricks and decided to heighten the stakes.

Alison was the gutsier one of the group. Once, she was a little miffed at Shannon for swiping her new Gucci sunglasses that she had gotten on a family trip to California. She hopped into her 2009 VW Jetta and called 911 on her iPhone saying that Shannon’s father was having chest pains. She had managed to get there five minutes prior to the emergency vehicles and was able to watch as Shannon’s parents explain to the EMT and the sheriff that no one was suffering from chest pains. The 911 dispatcher eventually traced the call back to Alison. She was taken down to the police station for questioning where she gave a false statement by saying that she didn’t have the lock on her phone, it must have called when she threw her Prada bag into the passenger seat of the car, and the dispatcher must have heard her go over her lines for an upcoming play. At that time, the police let her go with a warning, but filed the “accidental” call away in her file.

Another time, she snuck into Zoe’s room, opened the window, and took her brand new HP laptop that her mom and dad got her for the new school year. Zoe, in a panic, thought that someone had broken into her room. Her mom and dad contacted the police who came and took a statement. Alison, proud of her handy work of successfully freaking her sister out, let out a large billowing laugh and said “here it is, under my bed.” The cops again asked for Alison to come down to the station where they questioned her about why she took the laptop and didn’t let anyone know. She told them that she forgot she borrowed it the night before and seeing Zoe was asleep when she went to return it, she just simply placed it under her bed. She said she was sorry and again the police let her go under her parents watch, and another complaint added to her file.

Carla wasn’t safe from these tricks either. Carla had a secret crush on her neighbor. It wasn’t a publicly known thing, except for Carla’s three best friends. That day Carla had to run an errand for her mother. On her way home, she received a texted message from an unknown number.

“Come over to my house. I’ve been watching you from next door and I’ve found out that you’ve had a crush on me. Let’s talk this out and see if we can make it official. Xoxo”

Alison was always trying to one up the girls when it came to the tricks they pulled. Alison, who was already at Carla’s house, let herself inside seeing that she knew where the spare key was. Carla always told her if she ever needed anything to use the key and that she was always welcome to enter the house. Not paying attention to the signature, which was Alison’s trademark, Carla rushed home, slammed her silver Lexus into park, ran up to her room to reapply her makeup, and rushed out the back door only to find on the concrete pool deck Alison laying face down in a puddle of blood. Carla screamed and called 911 for help. Again, EMT’s showed along with the sheriff, only to find Alison spraying off the pool deck and Carla screaming at Alison for the text and for staining the deck. The sheriff placed Alison in the back of the squad car and took her down to the station. She was questioned again, but seeing she didn’t technically do anything wrong, the sheriff had to let her go. Another complaint added to her ever growing file.

Finally Shannon, Carla, and Zoe were sick and tired of Alison’s so called tricks. They were too personal and causing too much trouble. The three of them decided to pull off their final and ultimate trick, and it would be on Alison. It was Halloween and they decided, for fun, to go to Shannon’s house and play their favorite game, Killer. The point of the game was to start upstairs in the master bedroom’s bathroom and try your best to get out the door before the designated person branded the Killer, who was hiding anywhere they wanted to in the house, got you. And the lights must remain off. Alison went successfully from the master bedroom’s bathroom, to the master bedroom, to the guest room without problem. It wasn’t until it was time to try and venture down the spiral staircase did things start to get dicey. She felt someone run passed her, running something across her arm, which made it wet and warm. Then it happened again, but this time in the opposite direction. And again, and again. She found her way into the hall closet where she pulled out her iPhone, used the flashlight app, and before looking at her arm made sure no one was in the closet to bust her for breaking the rules. Safe for a moment, she looked at her arm and seen the deep crimson liquid all over. Her heart started to race, but figured that the girls were trying to trick her. She laughed it off, and continued on her journey to escape the house.

On the last step of the staircase, she could see the lights outside leading to Shannon’s driveway through the window in the door. She smiled to herself. She stepped down, took a step forward, and tripped over something heavy and landed in something wet. “Ha ha, very funny guys, but I’ve already done this bit. Remember Carla?” she said. But there was no answer.

“Guys?!” she called out, but still no reply.

Starting to panic a little more for real, she turned on the small lamp that was on the end table. The bulb blew the moment she flipped the switch. So she pulled out her iPhone again to use the flashlight app, and to her surprise she seen all three of her friends lying in a pool of red liquid. She touched Zoe first, but she was cool to the touch. She checked for her pulse, but nothing. Then she touched Carla. Nothing. Then Shannon. They were all dead.She quickly dialed 911 to report a triple murder, but to her surprise the dispatcher didn’t believe her. Instead of telling her that squad cars and ambulances were on their way, the dispatcher transferred her to the officer who had questioned her all the times prior.

“Alison, what can I do for you,” in a half committed voice.

“HELP! My friends are dead.”

“Really? Are you sure you aren’t practicing for a play, or making prank calls? Why don’t you call someone who believes you?” Click.

“But…” and the line went dead.

She called 911 back, to have the same dispatcher answer and transfer her to the same officer who this time told her “if you don’t stop calling I will arrest you for harassment and for making a false statement. I guess you shouldn’t have pulled all your tricks Alison.” Click.

“Wait…” and again the line went dead. With tears streaming down her face she tries to figure out what she’s going to do with three dead bodies at her feet. In the left hand side of the room she hears three little giggles. The lights flash on and there stood Shannon, Carla and Zoe with a satisfied grin on their face. Alison looks around herself again, this time being able to see properly, only to discover that the red liquid on the floor was red dyed sugar and water, as if someone didn’t add enough water when they were making Kool-Aid, and 3 Rescue Anne’s.

“Why did you do this to me? How did you do this,” questioned Alison.

Instead of explaining anything the girls just stood over her with the X symbol over there mouth.

English professor gave it marvelous reviews. She said it was publish worthy. What do you think? Honest opinions…

♥ Amanda