Are you trying to get me killed or what?!?!?!
Ok well Leah just told me that Nate told his gf that I asked him to live with me!! Well I did ask him and he told me not now. Man you dont know how much I just wanna hate him, but I cant. I love that kid more than life itself. If she knew HALF the shit he says, her damn head would spin!! There are so many secrets he keeps from her and he confides in me with them all. But seriously, what he is trying to do!? Get my ass kicked, start a fight, or just make it so hes not happy!!?? He tells me all the time that he feels that hes getting used for sex. He told me that if he doesnt have sex with her EVERYDAY she gets pissed and wont talk to him or nothing. And then he the boy has NO privacy what so ever. She up his ass 25/8!! Urgh!! Im just so damn fustrated with that kid!! I have so many chances to be happy with someone else, but what do I do, wait for his dumbass!! Wait wait wait wait………..well buddy, that time is rapidly coming where I wont be waiting anymore!! ITLL BE TOO LATE!! I feel it coming!! I really do, and I dont want that, but what can you do?! What can you do when you love someone more than life itself and not have it fully returned?! He tells me to keep waiting cause he needs to get his life straighted out. Its been 5 months!! I have waited 5 long and hard months!! Wait more he says!! Now he says to wait till after Christmas!! Whats gonna happen then, show up on his white horse and carry me away?! Ive yet to see that. He tells me this that and the other thing!! I told him the other night that I am quite sceptical about whether or not I should believe what he says. He said nothing. But I also told him that I WILL have him back and that he can count on that…..but now I dont know how sure of myself I am!! And all I hear out of his mouth is the ever so famous word……WAIT!! Im so fuckin sick of that word!! Im gonna shoot it!! Along with the word love!!
Well Im gonna get outta here….Im so fustrated I wanna punch the damn computer screen….PLCG!!
*~*AMANDA*~*