All I want and then some…all about the trip…

You made me feel amazing, special, wanted…

Hey there everyone. I told you that I would write when I got home from my trip. Oh boy what a trip it was. For starters I got in a car accident. I was getting off the Thru Way and it was raining all day and the corner was sharp and I went flying into the ditch. I ended up breaking up the mirror off the drivers side door, scraps on the door, punctured the driver side door and noticed when I got home today that a piece is missing on the bottom part of the back door on the drivers side and a little indentation on the side of the car. The trooper came and was really good about it. He drove up and he was like “You know, you can‘t park here.” And we laughed. We didn‘t make a report on it seeing that I don‘t have collision I just wanted to be towed out of the ditch and be on my merry way. The tow truck got there and he was like “do you have the fees to pay for this?” I go “WHAT?!” He goes “yeah it costs $55 for me to come out here and $40 to pull you out with the winch.” I ended up calling Aunt Jeni to use her Triple A so it didn‘t cost me a thing. But I was really shaken up. I got to Watertown at about 4:30ish…give or take a minute or 3. I got there and Jason and Matt where at the Ramada waiting for me. I was taken away by Jason. I have been talking to him, but it‘s only when Matt calls I talk to him and he told me what his physical form which is 6‘4“ and 300lbs., when I got there I didn‘t see that. He has this stature that is completely opposite…which really doesn‘t matter to me. But I was taken away. We went into the Ramada and we went to the Board Room where Matt and him were playing a game. They tried to teach me but I didn‘t have the real patience. All I wanted to do was stare at him. I was in an aw state of mind. Time went on and we parted for a little bit and I did the whole meet and greet of Matt‘s parents. That lasted a total of 10 minutes. We left Matt‘s and went back to the hotel where Matt and I chilled. He ended up hurting me. We were messing around and he grabbed me by the wrists and pinned me down to the point where I couldn’t move. I looked into his eyes and he was there physically, but mentally he was off somewhere. I had to tell him numerous times that it hurt. Things stopped and I called Jason to tell him that he could come back. He came back and his attention was centered on me. The man brushed my hair, WILLINGLY, for a good 45 minutes!! Now I love having my hair brushed, but I have never been with someone that willingly brushed my hair. Then he was ‘feather touching’ me. I found out that the softest the guy has ever touch my neck and ear wasn’t right. I learned that just him just touching the little hairs that on your neck and ear was phenomenal. Matt took no real interest what so ever in this. Now if Matt and I were, well, whatever we were, he should have stepped in and said something because his friend was doing this to me. It came around 10:30 and Matt fell asleep so Jason and I went and walked around the hotel. I swear, I could tell you backwards and forwards of that place. Anyways, we were having this serious in depth conversation about everything, which lasted from 10:30 that night to 6:30 this morning. We got talking about how he was brushing my hair, and he said that he got a soft hard on by doing so. And just by knowing that turned me on as well. There were so many opportunities to pursue the situation, but out of respect for Matt we didn‘t. He left at 6:45 since I went to sleep, but he did wake me up to tell me he was leaving. After that I couldn‘t really go back to sleep because there was just so much I had to talk to Matt about that it whirled all through my head causing me to only get 3 hours of sleep. (It‘s 10:55pm now…it‘s been a long and emotional day!!) Everything that I tried doing this morning, if it was watching a movie, a tv show, even taking a shower I found myself thinking of Jason. After my shower I sat and contemplated whether or not to call him, but the better side won and I did. I woke him up and he said that he probably wasn‘t going to be able to come up I got a little sad. Then 15 minutes later he called me back saying he couldn‘t sleep anymore and that he was on his way. I was so happy, but I couldn‘t express it because of Matt. And I think that the tension that was in the room was caused by the fact that Matt was there and I came to see him but I couldn‘t stop thinking about his friend. Jason came and we all watched “Buffy The Vampire Slayer.” I checked out of the hotel at 2 and said my byes to them guys. I gave Matt and kiss, but all I wanted to do was hold onto Jason. I turned around and told Jason that he wasn‘t going to leave empty handed and I walked over there and I hugged him. Neither of us wanted to let go. I left and ended up missing the ramp I had to get on. So I went and got a pack of smokes and then tried it again. Duh Manda!! Jason called me to see how I was doing and talked to me for a bit. Right after I got off the phone with Jason Matt called to see how I was. Talked to him for a few and them got home at 4.

Once I got home, I went into automatic clean mode. Cleaned the whole house, again!! Then I started talking to Jason on Yahoo. The turn out of that was he ended up calling me and us talking again for a good half hour. He said he‘d call me back at 9 when it was free time.

In between this time Matt called. I told him everything. That him and I could never be because of the stuff that is lacking. Don’t know if he took it to heart but I know to me it’s final. I made my point and now I can move on.

9 hits and my phone rang and it was Jason. *HUGE SMILE* We talked from 9 to 10:39 when he went in for work. More came out this time. I wasn‘t the only one that couldn‘t stop thinking. He couldn‘t stop thinking of me. He wanted so badly to grab my hand last night, or move my hair and just stare into my eyes. He wants me to go back up there Sunday and it be just him and I. I want to be there so bad. I want to see him so bad. I hope something happens…well so

mething is happening just not sure what. He is my ideal person. Someone who wants to listen to me and is attentive to me and looks at my face when I speak and not my chest. He‘s it and I hope something develops further.

Now I am just waiting for midnight…it‘s 11:10 now…and he is going to be calling me back. Man, I love his voice…

Well I am going to go and clean my bed off. I’m really cold!! PLCG!! I’ll let you all know what happens when I know more of what is happening!!

-A*