Strange Dream

 I’m so taking a much deserved nap after this entry. It’s only 1 pm & I’ve already made a ginormous Sunday dinner. Fed my neighbor who just got to come home from the nursing home, my grandparents, the three kids, Ty and myself. Ugh. It was amazing though. Italian Cheese Stuffed Pork Chops, Baked Apples, Creamed Corn, Rice and Rhubarb Cake for dessert. Not quite sure how I’ve ended up caring for all these people. But at least my kids are learning how to be helpful and respect your elders. Hopefully by the time I’m breaking hips or spending time in nursing homes they will be trained enough to care for me the same. 

Temping is going as good as can be expected. I really despise setting my alarm on the weekends too. I’ve been doing it at 6 as that’s when I get up during the week. Luckily the thermometer has the memory function so I simply take the temp & go back to sleep & then record it when I get up. So really it’s not THAT bad. The last couple days have been low temps as to be expected on CD 7. I am sad I need to give up the heating pad I religiously sleep with (which caused severe burns on my back  last week so I suppose I need to give it up anyways) as I know it affects temps. I’ll survive. And if I stay positive I’ll have a cute baby I can use as my personal heating pad someday if I dedicate myself to this. 

I also ordered opks off amazon. I know I had a full bag I hadn’t used. Went to check the exp date & couldn’t find them. Maybe I did use them all? I don’t know. Odd. So I ordered the Wondfo (sp?) ones that I got like 50 and 20 hpts. Really didn’t want the hpts but it was cheaper to go that route so I guess.  I always preferred the opks off baby hopes but couldn’t find the ones I use to get from them. Sadly they won’t be delivered until Friday and is prefer to start them on CD 11 but that will be fine too. The evening of CD 12 shouldn’t hurt. And the temping should at least tell me the day I o’d which is about all the matters as I’m well aware my timing has been fine the last 4 1/2 years and hitting the right days won’t make a but of difference as I obviously won’t get pregnant without medical assistance. 

I had crazy, disturbing dreams last night. Well technically this morning as I’m sure they were after I took my temp & went back to sleep. I had two beautiful babies each swaddled in one crib. Then some guy told me that one baby was dead. I was hysterical but when I went to see them I shook both babies and they each woke up. Then I showered and was in a hurry to go feed the babies and the babies were big fish with crazy human teeth and some crazy lady was telling me I had to feed the fish and they’d turn into babies when I took good enough care of them. But I was scared of their teeth and was super sad I was stuck with ugly fish that had to become babies. And then I woke up. Is that weird or what. What the hell does that odd dream mean?

And I’m really missing TLOL as I jump head first into this crazy next step of TTC. It just seems so sad that I won’t have that special journal just all about pregnancy and babies. I had it for like 12 years. *sigh* I guess that means I should also apologize for all the TTC rambles my faithful OD readers will have to read as I no longer have the journal just for that. Unless one of you have found something similar to TLOL?  (I especially apologize to My one & only male reader who probably doesn’t want to hear about periods and peeing on sticks lol). 

Well, I’d write more but a quick nap sounds lovely now.