Slowly coming together.

I’m super tired of feeling like crap. I seem to be lucky enough to have lingering effects from Covid. I kept feeling sick and thought it was all just stress. My ears have been plugged this whole time and I feel deaf. Well, it’s got worse lately. Now I have dizziness, the urge to puke or real puking, etc. Found some interesting research articles on ears and the virus. Ugh. I have a hope it’ll resolve by Monday. But currently plan to call and try to get in Monday – I need to know if they’re actually infected or if they can somehow get the fluid gone or give me something for the apparent vertigo, nausea, dizziness. This on top of being exhausted is killing me.

I hit snooze forever today dreading having to work. Finally went to get up and see a text that we are closed, no furnace, stay home. Ugh. Snooze for nothing. Went back to sleep for the day. With all the crazy dreams. Dogs. Hamsters. My recently murdered friend Chris. Seriously, some odd combinations going on. Some sad, some happy.

Online account finally reflects I OWN MY HOME ALONE. Thank god. I still feel little. But it’s done.

I also still see Captain Douche’s emails. He got the job. Seriously. He’s leaving. I can’t tell you how this makes me feel. Yesterday, reading that – I was speechless. I felt something. I can’t describe it. It felt nearly like an anxious panic attack wanting to begin, but it felt like excitement too. That excited feeling you get when something really great is about to come. I can’t tell you the last time I had that feeling. Probably why I can’t even recognize it. Why I can’t believe that’s what it is.

Honestly, I never thought that day would come. I believed I’d spend eternity stuck in same town as him. Fearful of running into him at the gas station, grocery store, bar, movie, fair. Fearful he may come over at anytime. Fearful he was driving by. Causing problems. Ruining things. I never thought there’d be a day I wouldn’t have to know he was sleeping less than a mile away.

All of that will soon be reality. I will literally be free. It’s a crazy feeling. I’ve been hyper alert for so long. It’s hard to accept it’s going to be like this soon. I won’t have to fear he could be here any moment. I won’t have to have panic attacks when I see a similar car or truck to his. When I see a semi that looks like his.

Thats’s incredible. Just a few more weeks and life really will be 100% changed, different, for the better.